Back to You
by CarolinaGal08
Summary: John knows he'll need to fight to earn his way back to his family after kissing Sam. As her anger fades, Natalie's heart is telling her to fight for the same thing. In traditional soap fashion, though, nothing is ever that easy - and when tragedy strikes, the decision may just be taken out of their hands entirely.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** My very first OLTL story! I've been writing for a while, but have never thought of sharing my work with anyone else. Recently I was really missing my favorite soap, and in my quest to relive the memories through clips and write-ups online, I discovered all of you here, keeping this great show alive.

This story is basically current with what the writers have done with John McBain since he moved over to GH. I am a big Jolie fan, so obviously this story is going to go in that direction - but even if you're not a huge fan of the pairing, this story will also feature significant appearances by many other core Llanview residents, both past and present.

I hope you enjoy! Please read and review to let me know what you think!

* * *

Natalie Buchanan Banks slowly picked up her water glass, pausing with it halfway to her lips before letting out a weary sigh and returning the glass to the table without taking a sip. Across the table, her sister frowned and shook her head as she watched her.

"You know you have to actually get it all the way to your mouth to drink it, right?"

Natalie looked up in confusion at the sound of her sister's voice.

"What?" Jessica Brennan shrugged at the look on Natalie's face. "You've picked up that water glass half a dozen times since we sat down to eat dinner and it hasn't touched your lips once."

"I guess I'm just not that thirsty," Natalie said.

Jessica shook her head. "I don't buy that for a second. Something is obviously bothering you, and I'm guessing that something has a name that starts with John and ends with McBain."

"I think Liam misses him."

Jessica arched an eyebrow skeptically.

"What?" Natalie asked defensively. "I think he misses his daddy."

"Oh, I have no doubt that he does," Jessica said. "I just think Liam might not be the only one."

Natalie sighed and shook her head sadly. "I never said I didn't miss him, Jessica. But I can't…after what he did, I don't even know if I can be in the same room with him."

"Do you even know what he really did?"

"What do you mean? You saw the picture."

Jessica nodded. "Yeah, I saw the picture. John kissed another woman. But have you given him a chance to explain? Maybe there was something else going on? I mean, consider the source…I love Uncle Todd, but the man's not exactly John's biggest fan. Maybe you ought to at least hear what John has to say about it?"

"There's nothing he could say to make it better."

"Natalie, I get that you're hurting, but don't you think you should at least talk to him? If not for your sake, then for Liam's. How long are you going to punish John by keeping him away from his son?"

"I am not punishing him, I'm protecting my son."

Jessica shook her head. "Are you sure about that, or is that what Dad told you?"

"Dad's only trying to protect Liam and me," Natalie said defensively. "He doesn't want either of us to get hurt."

"Do you really think John's going to hurt Liam?"

"I don't know. I don't think so," Natalie admitted. "But then again, I never thought John would hurt me, either."

"Maybe he made a mistake," Jessica suggested. "It's not like you and I don't both know all about those."

"Hold on, whose side are you on, anyway?"

"Yours, of course," Jessica assured her. "Look, Natalie, if I thought for one second that John McBain would ever intentionally hurt Liam…or you, for that matter…I would be the first in line to kick his ass. And I get that Dad's trying to protect you, I really do, but I think he's wrong here, Nat. Liam needs his father, and you and John need the chance to talk about what happened so that you can at least parent Liam together. And I think if you really think about it and listen to your heart, you know that."

Natalie hesitated for a moment.

"Natalie Banks, I swear to God, if you make me pull the 'my babies don't have their fathers anymore so don't deny yours his' card, I will hurt you."

Natalie smiled guiltily. "Liam really does miss his dad."

"Maybe you should have John come by and see him this week. You don't even have to be here if you don't want to see him yourself," Jessica offered. "Just call him and set it up. And, uh, make sure it's before Dad gets back next week."

"You don't really think he meant it when he said he'd shoot John on sight, do you?"

Jessica grinned and shook her head. "I'm not sure it's a chance I'd want to take if I were you."

Natalie laughed as she pulled out her phone. "I suppose not."

"Good luck," Jessica said, offering up an encouraging smile as Natalie stepped out of the room to call John.

"Something tells me those two are going to be just fine once Dad butts out," she muttered to herself, standing up to clear their dinner dishes. She had just deposited the glasses in the dishwasher when she heard Natalie come back in. Looking up, she frowned at her sister's tear-stained face.

"Natalie? What's wrong?" she asked in concern. "Did you talk to John?"

Natalie shook her head.

"Why not? Did you leave him a message?"

Again, Natalie shook her head, running a hand through her hair as she tried to steady her breathing.

"Nat, what happened?"

"I…I called his cell," Natalie said. "_She_ picked up."

Jessica gasped. "That McCall woman? Are you sure it was her?"

Natalie nodded. "I asked…when she said her name, I just hung up. I couldn't…I can't hear another excuse, Jessica. If it didn't mean anything, why the hell are they together?"

"Oh Natalie," Jessica sighed, wrapping her arms around her sister and rubbing her back gently. "I'm so sorry."

"Yeah." Natalie pulled back slightly and gave half a nod. "I, uh…can you watch Liam for me? Just for an hour or so?"

"Where are you going?"

"I just…I can't be here right now," Natalie said tearfully. "I need to clear my head, go for a drive or something. I promise, I won't be more than an hour, and Liam's already asleep for the night, so…"

"Go," Jessica said, squeezing her sister's hand gently. "I'll be fine with the kids. You call me if you need me, okay?"

* * *

Jessica groaned as the sound of a screaming baby woke her from her sleep. Rolling over to glance at the clock, it seemed as though the numbers were mocking her as they flashed 2:15. Slowly, she pushed herself out of the bed, pausing just as her feet hit the ground. Tilting her head to one side, she sat for a minute listening to the cries.

"Nope," she muttered under her breath as she lay back down in the bed. "That one's all yours, Nat."

Closing her eyes, she tried to shut out the noise and fall asleep again, certain that her sister would be in the nursery any second now to soothe her child. When the crying continued unabated, she cracked open one eye and looked back at the clock. 2:19.

"Damn it, Natalie," she sighed, rolling out of the bed and grabbing her robe from a nearby chair. "You so owe me for this."

Making her way down the hall, Jessica glared at Natalie's door before passing it and carefully pushing open the door to the nursery. Peeking into Ryder's crib, she said a silent prayer of thanks that Liam's cries had somehow managed to not wake her son. Turning around, she put her hands on her hips as she spotted Liam standing in his crib, his hands gripping the rail as he stared at her, his eyes red with tears.

"What has gotten into you, little man?" she whispered, taking a step forward and lifting him into her arms. Settling him on her hip, she grabbed a nearby spit rag and wiped the tears from his cheek. "You always sleep through the night, buddy. Are you getting sick?"

Liam buried his head in her shoulder, uttering a sound that Jessica was sure was his version of Mama.

"Okay, okay, let's go wake up Mommy, alright?" Jessica smiled and kissed his forehead as they headed out of the nursery and back down the hall to Natalie's room. Opening the door, she flipped on the light and stepped inside.

"Alright, Natalie, up and at 'em, your little…"

Jessica's voice trailed off as she looked around the room, her gaze settling on the empty, neatly made bed.

"Don't panic," she instructed herself quietly, adjusting Liam on her hip. "Okay, Liam, let's go downstairs. Mommy must have fallen asleep in the library."

And yet despite repeating "don't panic" so many times that she thought the phrase might be burnt into her tongue, Jessica found herself standing in the middle of the kitchen fifteen minutes later, her hands shaking as she dialed the familiar number and pressed the phone to her ear.

"Uncle Bo, it's Jessica. I need your help."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** You all are amazing, thank you so much for the reviews and story follows! I am so happy that there are other OLTL fans out there enjoying this story. You all inspire me to keep writing quickly! I can't promise that every update will be quite _this_ quick, but here's chapter two!

* * *

It only took one look around the room for Bo Buchanan to know that this wasn't going to be good. Of course, no phone call that started at three in the morning ever was _good_, but as he'd told his wife over and over again on the drive over, this could easily be a mistake. Jessica hadn't said exactly why she needed him to come over, which left open the whole realm of possibilities from minor concern to dire emergency.

But when he saw her leaning against the refrigerator, her eyes bloodshot and her hair a mess as she stared intently at her shoes, her arms wrapped around herself as the tears fell, he knew this wasn't just a case of Jessica overreacting. He still didn't know what, but _something_ was seriously wrong. He could only pray that when he spoke to her, it was Jessica he was talking to - he didn't even want to think of the phone call he'd have to make to his brother if Tess had somehow resurfaced.

"Jessica?" Nora said gently, stepping ahead of Bo and putting a gentle hand on her niece's shoulder. "Are you alright?"

Jessica looked up and let out a sigh of relief at the sight of her aunt and uncle. "Uncle Bo, thank you for coming so quickly."

Bo smiled gently. "Hey, what kind of an uncle would I be if I didn't rush over when you call me crying, even if it is three in the morning? Besides, I promised your old man I'd keep an eye on you and Natalie while he and your mom were in London this week."

"Aunt Nora, I didn't mean to wake everyone, you didn't have to come," Jessica said.

Nora shrugged and smiled as she wrapped her arm around Jessica's shoulder. "What's family for if you can't wake them all up for help?" she asked, glancing around the room. "Speaking of family…where's Natalie? She's not still asleep, is she? Should we wake her up for whatever's going on?"

"That's why I called. Uncle Bo, Natalie's gone."

Bo frowned. "What do you mean, gone?"

"I mean she's gone. As in, should be here but isn't," Jessica said anxiously. "She went for a drive earlier to clear her head and she hasn't come back. Uncle Bo, something bad's happened, I can feel it."

"What time did she leave?"

Jessica bit her lip and shook her head. "I don't know, I didn't think to look at the clock. Maybe eight? No, no, not eight…it had to be later than that, Bree went to bed at 7:30 and then Natalie and I had dinner. So maybe closer to nine? I don't know, Uncle Bo, I don't know exactly how long she's been gone, but she's not back and I'm really worried. Something's wrong, she wouldn't just disappear like this."

"Okay, well, let's not go panicking just yet, there's a lot that could have happened," Bo assured her. "Have you called her cell?"

"Of course I've called her! Do you really think I would have called you if I hadn't?" Jessica snapped in frustration. "She's not picking up."

"Does it go straight to voicemail?" Nora asked.

Jessica shook her head. "No, I think it's still turned on, she's just not answering…or something's happened and she _can't_ answer."

"And you're sure there's no possibility she's just out driving around still?" Bo asked. "If it's only been a few hours…"

"Uncle Bo, Liam's upstairs," Jessica interrupted. "Natalie still calls home every two hours to check on him when she's just across town at work. She would never, ever disappear for hours and hours without at least making sure he's okay."

"No, I suppose you're right," Bo agreed, taking a moment to think about their next move. "Alright, I don't want you to panic, Jessica. We'll find her."

"How?" Jessica asked, still anxious and tense.

"Well, first things first, you're going to sit down and you're going to take a few deep breaths and calm down," Nora instructed, gently guiding her across the room to a chair.

"I'm going to make a few calls," Bo said. "I'll see if our tech guys down at the station can get a location from the GPS in Natalie's phone, and I'll put out an APB on her car, okay?"

Jessica nodded, taking a deep breath and nervously tucking her hair behind her ears as she bit back her tears. "I can't believe this is happening."

"Hey, look at me, kiddo," Bo said, crouching in front of her. "We'll find her, Jessie, and that's a promise. And have I ever broken a promise to one of my two favorite nieces?"

Jessica smiled through her tears and shook her head.

"Well, alright then," Bo said, kissing her forehead as he stood back up. "You sit tight here with Nora while I make those phone calls."

* * *

Later that morning, John McBain awoke to the sound of someone banging on his hotel room door. Cracking open his eyes, he groaned as he eased himself out of bed, throwing on a shirt before making his way across the room to the door.

"It's almost eight in the morning, what the hell are you doing just getting up, sleepyhead?"

John frowned as Sam McCall grinned at him from the hallway.

"Well? Aren't you going to invite me in?"

John nodded and stepped back slightly. "Sorry. It's a bit messy, but, yeah, come on in."

"Thanks." Sam smiled and stepped inside as John closed the door behind her. "So…you're probably wondering what I'm doing here."

"The thought had crossed my mind."

Sam reached into her purse and pulled out a cell phone, holding it out to him. "I figured you might need this."

"I thought I'd left that down at the cafe yesterday," John said, taking it from her hand and turning the screen on to confirm it was his.

Sam shook her head, not missing the smile that flickered across his face when the screen came on and Natalie's face appeared as his background. "Yeah, well, you must have left it out at the house when you were over signing those papers Mom drew up. I stopped by last night and found it. I figured it was as good of an excuse as any to come by and say goodbye this morning, seeing as you were planning to sneak out of here without so much as a 'see ya later.'"

"I guess Alexis told you I'm going to back Llanview for good."

Sam nodded. "She did. I'm…well, I'm sure it's the right thing for you."

"I thought the temptation to break that damn restraining order would be too much, but I need to be there," John said. "Even with the restraining order, if I'm in Llanview, there's at least a chance I can get through to Natalie, talk to her friends, her family…start putting the pieces of my life back together."

"Speaking of Natalie…" Sam hesitated for a moment as John stared at her intently. "I think I may have inadvertently caused you a little trouble on that front."

"How?"

"Last night, when I had your phone…well, you got a call and I answered it."

"Who was it?"

Sam hesitated again before continuing. "Natalie."

"Natalie called me?" John asked in shock. "Wait…why the hell would you answer a call from Natalie?"

"I didn't look at the caller ID," Sam protested defensively. "I figured it was you, calling yourself to see if you could hear the phone nearby. I didn't figure out it was Natalie until she asked who I was and why I was answering your phone."

"Oh God," John groaned. "What did she say?"

"All I got out was my name before she hung up," Sam said. "I'm sorry, John."

John shook his head. "It's not your fault."

"Still…I know I've caused problems for you, and I'm sorry about that," Sam said. "I hope that you and Natalie are able to work things out for Liam's sake."

"Yeah," John nodded as he opened the door for her. "Me too."

Sam smiled sadly and leaned forward, kissing him quickly on the cheek. "Goodbye, John."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Thank you all for continuing to read and review! I realize this chapter is probably going to raise more questions, but I promise, things will start to clear up in the next chapter or two. I probably won't be able to update over the weekend, but should have chapter four ready to go by Monday or Tuesday. Have a great weekend!

* * *

Nora yawned quietly as she tucked the blanket up around Jessica's shoulders and took a step away from the couch in the library. Turning around, she placed a finger to her lips when she saw Bo standing in the doorway and motioned for him to step back into the entryway. Carefully closing the door behind her, she turned to face her husband.

"She's going to have quite the crick in her neck from sleeping on that couch, but I don't have the heart to wake her after the night she's had," Nora said sadly. "Are the kids up?"

Bo nodded. "They're all in the kitchen with Lois. The boys are playing and Bree's helping Lois make blueberry pancakes. I think it'd be best to keep her home from school today. I don't want her out of the house if this has to hit the press."

"Do you think it'll come to that?" Nora frowned as Bo hesitated. "You do, don't you? Something's really happened, hasn't it?"

"I think we both knew something bad had happened the minute we saw Jessica," Bo pointed out.

"Well yes, but there was still a chance that this was just Natalie blowing off steam or that her car broke down and she didn't have cell service," Nora said. "I wanted that to be true, Bo, and so did you. But you know something, don't you? What happened?"

"I just got a call from the state police," Bo admitted. "They found Natalie's car abandoned about fifteen miles south of Llanview."

"Oh dear," Nora sighed. "And there was no sign of Natalie?"

"I don't know," Bo said. "I don't have much information other than that they found the car. But…"

"But what?" Nora prompted.

"I don't know what condition the car was in, or what they found at the scene…but they called for a forensics unit before they even knew about the APB on the vehicle. They're still processing the scene, so I'm going to head down there now."

Nora nodded. "What should I tell Jessica when she wakes up?"

"Tell her…" Bo hesitated as he considered his words. "Just tell her that I'm following up on the cell phone."

"I almost forgot about that. Did they find her phone?"

"It was in the car, that's all I know."

"Well, at least we know why she wasn't picking up." Nora paused as a thought occurred to her. "Bo, have you called Clint and Viki yet?"

Bo sighed and shook his head. "No, and I am not looking forward to that phone call."

"They need to know that their daughter's missing," Nora said. "You know Clint, the longer you wait to tell him, the more upset he's going to be."

"I know, I know," Bo said. "I'm going to call after I see the car. If I know my brother, he's going to have a million questions, and I want to be able to answer at least some of them when I talk to him. I think the BE jet's still in London, so they'll be able to get home quickly no matter when I call him."

"If you're planning to go to the press, you'd better call Clint first," Nora said. "Between his bad temper and his bad heart, I'm not sure he could handle getting news like this from a reporter."

"I promise, I'll call him as soon as I leave the scene," Bo assured her. "You okay with staying with Jessie and the kids today? I can get Roxy or someone else to come over if you need a break or…"

"I'll be fine, don't worry about me or Jessica or the kids," Nora said. "You just go and bring Natalie home to her son, you hear me?"

Bo nodded and kissed her quickly before heading toward the door. "I love you, Red," he said, turning his head briefly to see her smile before he left.

* * *

Bo groaned wearily as he climbed back into his car and put the key in the ignition, leaning back against the seat and closing his eyes. His body was protesting loudly against the lack of sleep and the adrenaline and fear coursing through his veins, letting him know that maybe Rex Balsom's joking had been more on the money than he'd known. Maybe he really was getting too old for this work. Just last week, Nora had been dropping a few not-so-subtle hints about the opportunity to retire. Maybe…

Bo shook his head and opened his eyes, glancing up at his rearview mirror and spotting the tow truck arriving to take Natalie's car back to the LPD garage. There'd be plenty of time to think about age and retirement and all the rest of it later. Right now, his first priority - hell, his _only_ priority - was finding Natalie before it was too late. Now that the state police knew whose car they'd found, he was sure the press would be swarming by the time he made it back to the station. Whether he liked it or not, a missing Buchanan heiress was big news, which meant that the case would be all over the news the second the press conference he'd arranged came to an end.

_The case_. The words sounded wrong, almost foreign, when he knew he was thinking about Natalie. This wasn't just another name on a file, this was his niece, his brother's little girl. He'd be damned if she ever became just a case, either on paper or in his mind. This was _not_ supposed to be happening again, not to his family and especially not to Natalie.

With a heavy sigh, he pulled out his cell phone and stared at it. He needed to make the call, he knew that. He couldn't arrive back at the station without making it, because getting to the station meant getting to the press conference. And they needed that press conference and they needed it soon. The case - _Natalie_ - needed to be pushed in front of the public, needed to be seen and heard and hopefully remembered by someone who held the clue that would bring her home.

But none of that could happen until he picked up the phone and made that call.

* * *

Thirty-five hundred miles away from Llanview, Clint Buchanan's jaw clenched as he tossed a thick stack of papers onto an empty conference room table and leaned forward, his palms resting on the edge of the table as he stared hard at his two sons seated on the other side.

"I have been gone for three weeks, boys! Three weeks! This deal was in the bag when I left London last month, so one of you had better have a damn good explanation for how we lost this acquisition," Clint snapped angrily. "What the hell have you two been up to while I was back in Llanview?"

"We got outbid," Joey said. "It happens."

"Not to Buchanan Enterprises it doesn't!" Clint practically roared. "Not in this family! Damn it, boys, this could have been the biggest thing to happen to BE in years, and all you can give me is we got outbid?"

"Dad, you need to calm down," Kevin said, starting to stand up until caught a glare from his father and immediately sank back into his chair.

"I will calm down when this deal is done! Do not tell me to…" Clint stopped mid-sentence as his cell phone began to ring in his pocket. Pulling it out, he frowned when he saw his brother's name on the caller ID. "Nobody moves," he cautioned his sons before turning around and quickly answering the call.

"Bo, I'm in the middle of a meeting. I'll call you back tonight."

_"Clint, this can't wait."_

"Well, it's going to have to, because I've got a deal to salvage here."

_"Clint, it's about Natalie."_

Clint froze. "What about Natalie?"

_"There's no easy way to say this, Clint…Natalie's missing."_

"She's what?" Clint asked in shock.

_"She went for a drive last night and hasn't been seen since. Jessica called me early this morning when she realized she hadn't come home," Bo explained. "We found her car abandoned about fifteen miles south of town. It was…well, all I can say is that the evidence pretty clearly indicates that she didn't leave the car willingly."_

"What are you saying?"

_"Right now, we're investigating this as a missing persons case," Bo said, taking a breath. "We're looking into the possibility that there may have been some sort of foul play involved."_

"What about Liam? He wasn't with her, was he?"

_"No, Liam's fine. He's at Llanfair with Jessica and her kids. Nora's with them right now."_

"Good, good," Clint nodded, still not quite past the initial shock of Bo's news. "Have you called Viki yet?"

_"No. I figured this was the sort of news you'd want to tell her in person."_

"Right," Clint nodded and glanced over his shoulder at his sons, who were staring at him in confusion and concern. "We'll be home as soon as we can. I'll call you when we know what time we'll be landing."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favorited or followed this story so far! I have tried to respond to everyone whose review had an account linked to it - to those whose didn't, please know that I thank you all too!

* * *

Kevin and Joey exchanged a nervous glance as Clint slipped his cell phone back into his pocket and slowly turned to face them. They both knew that Clint was not the type to get worried easily, and they'd spent more than enough time around him to know when something was seriously wrong. And given the look on their father's face, they were both fairly certain that whatever their uncle had just told him, whatever it was he was about to tell them, they'd rather go back to explaining the imploded business venture.

Clint took a shaky breath and looked at his boys. "That was Bo," he said quietly, pulling a chair away from the table and sinking into it. "Your sister Natalie…it seems she's gone missing."

"Missing?" Kevin asked in confusion. "What does that mean? Kidnapped?"

Clint nodded. "Kidnapped…or maybe worse."

"What could be…oh my God," Joey gasped when he made the connection.

"Has there been a ransom demand?" Kevin asked, standing up from the table. "Whatever they want, we'll pay it!"

"Of course we will," Clint agreed. "But there hasn't been any demand. She's just disappeared, but…I don't know, there must have been something Bo wasn't telling me. He was sure she didn't leave on her own." Clint took another breath and put his hand on his chest.

"Dad, are you alright?" Joey asked, jumping to his feet.

Clint nodded and waved a hand to shake away his sons' attention. "I've got to tell your mother."

"I think she and Tina were going shopping today," Joey offered. "Something about dresses for your wedding, although I'm pretty sure it was more Tina's idea of fun than Mom's. If they're not back yet, Kelly might know where they went."

Clint nodded again. "If I know your mother, they're back at Mayfair by now."

"Why don't you head down there?" Kevin suggested. "I'll call the airport and have them get the BE jet ready for us to depart as soon as you've told Mom."

"Us?" Clint asked in confusion.

Kevin furrowed his brow at his father. "Yeah, _us_. I can't speak for Joey here, but if you think for one second that I'm going to sit here in London doing nothing while my sister's in trouble back in Llanview, then you're out of your God-given mind. Now you go find Mom, Joey and I will take care of everything else."

Joey slumped back into his chair as Clint left the room. "I can't believe this is happening."

"I know," Kevin agreed solemnly. "Alright, which one do you want?"

"Which one what?" Joey asked in confusion.

"Cord or Balsom?" Kevin asked. "They've both got to be told, they'll probably both want to be on the jet with us. You want to take Balsom?"

Joey frowned. "No. You?"

"Rock, paper, scissors?" Kevin suggested.

If it hadn't been for the seriousness of the situation, Joey was sure he would have laughed as he nodded. "Best two out of three…and no cheating, I'm watching you."

* * *

It was nearly lunchtime by the time John pulled his car into the parking lot behind Rodi's and stepped out, squinting into the midday sun as he looked around and surveyed the place. Everything looked quiet, exactly as he'd have expected for a mid-week lunch hour. Still, he couldn't help the feeling in his gut that something was wrong. Shaking his head, he closed the car door and headed in through the back entrance.

He hadn't taken two steps into the place when he heard a loud, all too familiar shriek from the main dining area.

"Johnny!"

John turned slightly to find Roxy Balsom rushing toward him, mentally bracing himself for whatever assault she was going to throw at him for everything that had happened with Natalie.

"Thank God you're back!" Roxy exclaimed, throwing her arms around his neck. "Oh God, John, isn't it just awful? My poor Natty, my poor baby!"

John's heart clenched in his chest at the mention of Natalie. "Roxy, what…"

"But I knew you'd be back," Roxy continued, oblivious to the look of confusion on Roxy's face. "I knew right as soon as Bo called me that you'd come back and find her, Johnny. You two have that connection, and I…"

"Roxy, stop," John interrupted, taking her by the shoulders and staring at her. "What are you talking about? What's happened to Natalie?"

Roxy gasped and her eyes grew wide when she realized he didn't know. "You mean you haven't heard? But you came back. Why else would you come back?"

"To make things right with Natalie," John said.

"Well, you're gonna have a hell of a time doing that if you don't find her first!" Roxy reached out and grabbed John's hand. "C'mon, the press conference is still on."

John frowned as she dragged him into the bar, where the few customers and the daytime bartender were gathered around the television, watching as Bo stood on the steps of the Llanview Police Department and addressed a crowd of reporters.

_"Commissioner, can you confirm reports that Natalie Banks' blood was found in the vehicle?" a reporter shouted._

_"No, no I cannot confirm that," Bo said quickly, in a tone that John knew all too well meant there had been blood in the car. "All I can confirm are the facts which I stated at the start of this conference: that Ms. Banks was last seen leaving her mother's house at approximately nine o'clock last night; that she was reported missing at approximately three o'clock this morning; and that at nine thirty this morning, state police located Ms. Banks' car abandoned on the side of route 53, approximately fifteen miles south of the Llanview city limits. Ms. Banks was not in the car, and we are investigating the possibility of foul play in her disappearance. Once again, we are asking that anyone who may have seen Ms. Banks after she left her mother's last night, please contact the Llanview Police Department."_

_"Commissioner Buchanan, does the Buchanan family have any statement to make?"_

_"Not at this time, no," Bo said, glancing around and taking a step back from the microphone. "Thank you for your attention today, but that's all we have time for."_

John sank back against the wall as the newscast cut back to a studio anchor with a photograph of Natalie in the corner of the screen. "Oh God," he muttered, closing his eyes to shut out the world. "Where are you, Natalie?"

* * *

"John…"

Natalie's voice was barely a whisper, so soft that she could hardly it herself. Slowly opening her eyes, she wasn't surprised to be met by only darkness as she stared up at what she assumed was a ceiling. It could have been nighttime or it could be that whatever room she was in had no windows, she really couldn't tell, and she had no sense of how long she'd been unconscious. It could have been an hour or it could have been days.

All she knew was that every muscle in her body ached, and she had a strange taste in her mouth, a bit like dried blood. She tried to lift her hand to mouth, but could barely muster the energy to lift it an inch off the ground, and she soon had to give up and let it drop back to the floor.

Her mind was racing as she lay there, trying to figure out why she couldn't move. Had it been long enough for Jessica to notice that she was missing? And Liam…who was with her son? Would John leave that woman in Port Charles to come back for him? For her?

It was the last thought that passed through her head before she blacked out again.

"John…"


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Thank you for the reviews - I'm so glad that you all are continuing to enjoy this story! For this chapter, I toyed around with writing each family member's individual reaction to the news of Natalie's disappearance, but it felt like it was dragging the story a bit, so I ended up cutting out all of them except for one, which I left in to lighten the mood a little. Enjoy!

* * *

John couldn't remember the last time looking at a case board had made him feel sick to his stomach, but as he stood in the middle of the Bo's office and stared at the board with Natalie's picture pasted up in the center, he wondered if he might need to make a dash to nearest trash can.

"You're not supposed to be in here, McBain."

"You gonna kick me out, Bo?" John asked without taking his eyes off the board.

"Nah," Bo shook his head as he walked up beside John and joined him in staring at the board. "Can't spare the manpower it'd take to forcibly remove you. You got here a lot quicker than I thought you would."

"I was already in Llanview when I saw the press conference," John said. "You should have called me, Bo."

Bo frowned. He knew now was not the time to get into things with John, but he couldn't forget the look on Natalie's face the last time he'd seen her. "Really? I called my brother because he's her father. I asked him to speak to Viki because she's Natalie's mother. I called Roxy because she's…well, Roxy. Explain to me why exactly I should have called you?"

"Because I love Natalie," John said, his jaw clenching slightly. "She's the mother of my child and the love of my life, Bo, and you know that."

"You sure have a funny way of showing love, John."

"I screwed up, I know that," John conceded. "I made a mistake, and I have every intention of making it up to Natalie and spending the rest of my life proving to her and to everyone else that she's everything to me."

"Good. Although even if you get Natalie to forgive you, I'd still avoid Clint for a while…especially if there's a shotgun nearby."

John nodded. "Duly noted."

"First things first, though, we've got to get her back home where she belongs," Bo pointed out.

"Yeah…exactly what makes you think we're looking at foul play here?"

Bo sighed and pointed to the lower left corner of the board.

"Is that Natalie's car?" John asked, bending over to get a better look. "Is that blood?"

Bo nodded solemnly. "The steering wheel was covered with it, like she hit her head or something. We're having it compared with the sample of Natalie's DNA the department has on file, but the blood type matches. There was also some blood on the door that didn't match the blood on the steering wheel. We're running both of them now."

John sighed and turned away from the board. "Did they find anything else at the scene?"

"Her cell phone was on the floor, near the gas pedal. It looks like she dropped it at some point," Bo said, hesitating for a moment before walking over the desk and pulling a small evidence bag out of a box. "They also found this in the dirt about a hundred yards from the vehicle. It's broken, we're going to have to pry it open to see what's inside, and we're not even sure it's Natalie's, but…"

John's heart sank again at the sight of the blood-stained locket in the bag. "There's a picture of me and Liam inside," he said quietly. "I gave it to her on Liam's first birthday. She's worn it every day since then. She…she wouldn't take that off, Bo, she wouldn't."

* * *

Tina Lord Roberts looked up from the magazine she was reading and smiled as her husband rushed into their bedroom. "Cord, you're home early. What happened to that meeting you and Clint have been going on and on about?"

Cord sighed and shook his head as he pulled open the closet door and yanked out a suitcase. "Change of plans. I'm going back to Llanview."

"What? When?"

"Now. The BE jet is waiting at the airport."

"But why are you leaving?" Tina asked anxiously. "Did you and Clint have a fight?"

"Pa and Viki are going too," Cord said, not looking up as he started tossing his clothes into the suitcase on the bed. "Kevin and Joey as well, probably Rex and Gigi."

"What's going on?" Tina asked in confusion. "Is this some sort of family reunion no one invited me to?"

Cord tossed another shirt into the bag and paused, taking a breath and shaking his head as he looked at his wife. "My sister's missing. They think she's been kidnapped."

"Jessica?"

"Natalie."

Tina gasped. "Natalie's been kidnapped? _Again_?"

Cord frowned and stared at Tina skeptically.

"What?" Tina shrugged innocently. "That poor girl's been kidnapped almost as many times as Viki's been married!"

"Tina…"

"I know, I know," Tina threw up her hands as she walked over to the closet and pulled out another suitcase. "But it's the truth. She started her life with a kidnapping, and it's been a theme ever since."

"What do you think you're doing?" Cord asked, watching in confusion as Tina started filling the other suitcase with her clothes.

Tina paused and put her hands on her hips as she turned to her husband. "Cordero Roberts, you did not honestly think that you were going to rush back to Llanview without me, did you? This is my family too."

"I know that, Tina. I just didn't want to assume. You haven't always…"

"Oh sweetheart, let's make this clear," Tina said with a smile, resting her hand on his cheek. "Forget what I've done in the past, okay? From now on, when my family is involved, you'd better assume I've going to be there, because I will be."

* * *

Viki sighed as she sank back into her seat on the BE jet, her hand gripping Clint's tightly as the plane taxied down the runway to take off for Pennsylvania. She could hardly believe that this was happening again. It seemed that every time she thought her children were finally all safe and happy, life threw something else at them.

It had been hard enough for her to see Natalie and John's relationship struggling with the distance as he spent more and more time in Port Charles. When that picture had arrived from Todd, she'd seen Natalie's heart breaking all over again. She'd certainly disagreed with Clint's plan of action with the restraining order, but she could understand where he was coming from. If she had thought that not seeing John would somehow protect her daughter, she would have suggested the same thing. As it was, she knew there was no amount of parental interference that could fix Natalie's problems. Convincing Clint of that was another matter, but she was getting closer.

All of which could very well be for nothing, she realized as she said another silent prayer for her daughter's safety. It had been more than twenty years since she'd lost Megan, but she wasn't sure her heart could handle losing another daughter, especially now that Natalie had Liam depending on her. If the worst were to happen, she didn't know how they'd explain to that little boy that Mommy wasn't ever coming home.

As she looked around the crowded jet, she couldn't help but feel it was a bit sad that it had taken an event like this to draw her family together after all this time. There'd been so many opportunities over the past few years - weddings, baptisms, funerals, even a few other kidnappings. And yet it hadn't been until this very moment that they'd all come together. Her sister, her sons, her grandson, her soon-to-be-again husband and stepsons and stepgrandsons…it was tragic and almost maddening that it took something like this to bring them all home.

"You know," she said quietly as she looked over at Clint. "I've often wondered what it would take to get the whole family back to Llanview at the same time."

"Everyone would have been back in the winter for your wedding, Viki," Gigi pointed out.

Tina scoffed. "Have you never been to a Buchanan wedding? Someone is always absent or leaving at the last second or…"

"Or busting into the church in middle of the ceremony with a shotgun to shoot the minister," Rex added.

Clint scoffed. "I don't give a damn who he claims ordained him, David Vickers does _not_ count as a minister."

"But it did make for one of my favorite Buchanan wedding moments," Joey said.

"How would you know?" Rex asked. "You weren't even there."

Joey shrugged. "I saw the video."

"I don't know," Kevin said. "Personally, I've always been partial to the one where Aunt Tina came back from the dead."

"I'm sorry, what?" Kelly asked in confusion.

"Oh yeah, that was a fun one," Joey agreed. "Didn't I ever tell you about the time we all thought Aunt Tina had died until she burst into the church about 30 seconds after Cord married another woman? And then handed him a baby and promptly passed out?"

"No, someone forgot to mention that one," Kelly said, shaking her head. "Has this family ever had a normal wedding?"

Viki smiled sadly. "I'm not sure we'd know what to do with ourselves."

"Well, you'll have to find out," Clint said. "Because I fully intend to have a perfectly normal, quiet wedding come November."

The whole family stared at Clint for a moment before the sound of Shane and Zane laughing interrupted the silence.

"What's so funny?" Clint asked in exasperation as one by one, the laughter seemed to spread, until the whole plane full of people were almost doubled over in laughter.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** I know, I gave you a tiny glimpse of Natalie two chapters ago and then nothing...we won't see her again for another chapter or two after this one, but I promise, next chapter will bring a lot more clarity as to what's going on with her kidnapping. Thanks again for the wonderful reviews, they inspire me to keep writing quickly!

* * *

Bo wasn't at all surprised to find John still camped out in his office when he returned from the lab a few hours later.

"Are those the lab reports from the scene?" John asked, glancing up from the photographs he had spread across Bo's desk and reaching for the folder in Bo's hand.

"Not so fast," Bo cautioned, pulling the file out of John's reach. "I know I let you stay, but John, you're not an active member of the LPD right now. Technically, you have no standing in this building and no right to know anything about this case."

"Damn it, Bo, I…"

"Do I need to remind you that you're the one who requested the leave of absence?" Bo pointed out. "I told you I'm not going to waste manpower physically removing you from this building, but that does not mean I'm giving you access to every bit of information that comes through on Natalie's case. You're an observer here, John, not a detective."

"You could give me my badge back," John suggested.

"I could," Bo agreed. "But quite frankly, I'm not sure that would be a good idea."

"I'm the best damn detective this department's had in a long time," John pointed out angrily. "You're going to risk this case because you're mad that I left town?"

"I never said you weren't a great detective, John. But you need to realize that this department doesn't have a revolving door that you can just waltz in and out of whenever it suits you," Bo snapped. "You left us all high and dry when you ran off to Port Charles on whatever wild goose chase you've been on, and once we get Natalie back, I've got no guarantee that you're not going to go right back to it. It seems to me that it's high time you made a choice, John. Either you're committed to chasing demons from your past or you're committed to a future here in Llanview, but you can't have it both ways - and I'm not just talking about your badge."

John sighed and nodded, running a hand through his hair. "I came back, didn't I? Look, give me my badge, don't give me my badge, I don't really give a damn right now. I love being a cop, but if I spend the rest of my life slinging drinks at Rodi's, so be it. I'm not leaving Llanview again, not so long as Natalie and Liam are here. And badge or no badge, if you think you can keep me away from this case so long as Natalie's out there somewhere, then you don't know me very well at all."

"That's all I needed to hear," Bo said with a quick nod, tossing his desk keys to John. "Your badge is in the top drawer. We'll get your gun from the lockers later."

"You keep my badge in your desk?" John asked in amusement, pulling it out of the drawer and slipping it into his pocket.

Bo shrugged. "Figured you might come back for it someday. Didn't figure on this exactly, but…"

John nodded. "So what did forensics find?"

"No prints on the door or the steering wheel except for Natalie's and the blood on the steering wheel belongs to Natalie," Bo said, handing the file across the desk to John. "Blood on the door turns out to be a mix of blood and saliva. The blood's an unknown male, but the saliva belongs to Natalie."

"Blood and saliva…wait a minute," John frowned as he looked at the picture of the car door. "Are you saying she bit him?"

"It had to have been a hell of a bite to draw that much blood, but yeah, it looks that way."

"That's my girl." John almost smiled as he tossed the picture back into the pile. "She knew we'd need something to identify him and she made sure we got it."

"We're running the attacker's DNA against national crime databases, but it could be hours before we get any hits from that, if there even are any."

"What about the car?" John asked, picking up another picture of the crime scene.

"What about it?"

"Was there something wrong with it?" John asked. "Engine trouble? Out of gas? Anything like that?"

"No. Why do you ask?" Bo asked in confusion.

"Because this isn't right," John said, his frown deepening as he stood up and handed the pictures to Bo before starting to pace in front of the case board. "Look at where they found her car. It's an isolated stretch of road - no buildings, no streetlights, dark woods all around. There's almost no shoulder to speak of. Natalie's too smart to have stopped in a place like that, especially at night."

"And yet she did," Bo said, looking up as John froze in front of the board. "You got something?"

"Her window's rolled down," John said.

"Maybe she wanted some fresh air," Bo offered.

"It was forty degrees last night, Bo," John pointed out.

"Alright, I'm game," Bo said. "What are you thinking?"

"Jessica's statement says Natalie was upset when she left Llanfair. When Natalie's upset, she drives fast," John said. "So it's dark, it's late, she driving faster than she should be…what would make a smart woman like Natalie feel safe enough to pull over and roll down her window at a moment like that?"

Bo's eyes grew wide as he started to follow John's logic, but he immediately shook his head. "You cannot be thinking what I think you're thinking, John."

"I don't like it any more than you do, but it's the only thing that makes sense," John said. "We're looking for a cop, Bo."

* * *

Jessica let out a shaky breath as she sat down at the table in the kitchen. Nora had just taken the boys upstairs to put them to bed, leaving her alone for the first time all day. As she sank back into the chair, it was hard to fathom that just twenty-four hours ago she and Natalie had been sitting there together, talking about taking the kids to Disneyland for Bree's next birthday. They'd laughed together, imagining the looks on the boys' faces when they saw Mickey Mouse or the squeal they knew would come from Bree when they finally told her where they were going.

And now, in what seemed like the story of their lives, here she was safe and sound at Llanfair, while Natalie was God-knows-where with God-know-which psycho this time. She wished Bo would hurry up and find something - _anything_, really - that he could tell her. So far, all she'd gotten were hourly reports from Nora that they were "waiting on the lab" or "doing everything they could." Something had to happen soon, or she was certain the waiting was going to kill her.

Casting her eyes upward, she fought back another flood of tears. "Please let Natalie be okay," she whispered. "Please bring my sister home."

Jessica closed her eyes and took another breath, trying to calm herself down as she prepared herself to go upstairs to tuck the boys and Bree into bed. The last thing she needed was for her daughter to see her like this and get even more upset. Although the boys weren't yet old enough to understand what was going on, Bree had picked up almost immediately on the fact that something was seriously wrong, and had spent most of the day asking where Aunt Natalie had gone.

Slowly, she stood up and made her way out of the kitchen. She was halfway up the stairs when the front door burst open. Whirling around, she let out a sigh of relief at the sight of her parents rushing into the house.

"Mom!" she exclaimed, rushing down the stairs and practically throwing herself into her mother's arms.

"Oh Jessie," Viki sighed, running her hand through Jessica's hair as she kissed her forehead. "Oh sweetheart, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Mom," Jessica assured her through her tears. "It's just, Natalie…I'm so scared, Mom."

"I know, darling, I know. So am I," Viki admitted, holding Jessica tightly.

"Bo's going to find her," Clint said, coming up behind them and placing a hand on Jessica's back. "He'll bring her home safe."

Jessica nodded. "Where's everyone else?"

"Kevin went down to the police station to see if Bo has any leads on your sister," Clint said. "I sent everyone else over to the mansion to stay there. I didn't want to overwhelm you with…well, everyone."

"What your father means," Viki said with a knowing smile. "Is that after five and a half hours on a small airplane with Tina, we need a break. Now come on, let's go into the library and sit down. Kevin said he'd call as soon as he heard anything from Bo."

Jessica shook her head. "I've got to go make sure Bree's in bed. She's been pretty upset all day. I think she knows something's wrong."

"Kids are very intuitive," Viki agreed. "What have you told her?"

"Not much," Jessica said. "She keeps asking why Liam's here but not Natalie, and when I tell her Natalie's just away for a while and we're watching Liam, she give me this look, like she knows I'm lying."

"It's not surprising," Clint said. "She and Natalie are very close."

Jessica nodded, looking up as Nora came down the stairs.

"I had a little bit of trouble getting Bree into bed," Nora said apologetically when she reached them. "She's really upset. Something about a book?"

"Oh God," Jessica groaned, nodding in comprehension. "Natalie's been reading to her every night. She won't go to sleep without a new chapter of that damn book."

"Well, what's she reading? I'll do it," Clint offered.

Jessica shook her head. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me."

Jessica almost smiled as she watched her father carefully. "Alright. Natalie's been reading her the Count of Monte Cristo."

Clint frowned. "Bree's _six_."

"Natalie says she's getting her ready for Harvard."

"Does she even understand what Natalie's reading?" Nora asked skeptically.

"That's the scary part," Jessica said. "She does. That kid's too smart for her own good sometimes."

"Are you talking about your sister or your daughter?" Viki asked.

Jessica smiled sadly and shook her head. "Both."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** This one is a little short, but I promise, there'll be more answers in the following chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

"What the hell is he doing here?!"

Bo cast his eyes upward in exasperation when he and John looked up to find Kevin standing in the doorway, looking as though he were about to strangle John at any moment.

"Kevin, you shouldn't be here," Bo said. "You…"

"I've got more right to be here than _he_ does," Kevin practically spat.

"I work here," John said defensively.

Kevin snorted derisively. "Only when it's convenient for you. Where the hell have you been for the past six months? You think you can just parade in and pick up where you left off?"

"No," John said solemnly. "But I'm back and I'm not going anywhere, so you're going to have to get used it."

"Like hell I will," Kevin snapped. "I…"

Kevin was interrupted by one of the front desk workers sticking her head tentatively into Bo's office. "Excuse me, Commissioner?"

"What is it, Christy?"

The woman hesitated slight as she glanced at Kevin and John. "There are, uh, some people here to see you about the Natalie Banks case."

"Have Lopez take their statements," Bo instructed.

"Oh, um, no, see…they're not witnesses, sir," Christy said nervously. "They're FBI agents."

"Just great," Bo muttered, standing up and glancing back and forth between John and Bo. "You two just sit tight and try not kill each other while I'm gone, alright?"

Kevin glared at John as Bo walked out the door. "This is your fault, you know."

"What?" John asked in confusion.

"You heard me. If something happens to my sister, her blood's on your hands, McBain," Kevin said angrily. "If it hadn't been for you, she wouldn't have been out on that drive, and none of this would be happening! She'd be at home, with her son, right now!"

John nodded and leaned back against the desk. "You think you're telling me something I haven't already thought of?"

"How should I know what goes on beneath that thick skull of your's, McBain?"

"Look, I know you don't like me…" John began calmly.

Kevin scoffed. "There's an understatement."

"…And I probably deserve that and more," John continued. "If someone else had hurt Natalie the way I know I hurt her, I'd be as angry as you are. But as hard as this is to explain, I love your sister, Kevin. I know I screwed up, and believe me, no one else feels worse about that than I do. I can't take back what I did. All I can do right now is work this case and do everything that I can do to bring Natalie home to Liam, and hope that maybe someday, I'll be able to show her how much I regret that mistake and how much she means to me. So you can think what you want about me, but if you're not here to help, then just back the hell off, because I don't know you that well, but I know enough about the Buchanans to know that I'm probably not the only one in this room who's made a mistake that hurt the woman he loved."

Kevin frowned and stared at John.

"Alright, say it," John suggested.

"What?"

"Whatever it is you're thinking, because it's clearly something."

Kevin shrugged. "I was just thinking that that right there was probably more words than I've heard you speak the entire time I've known you. You sure picked a hell of a time to develop a voice, John."

John nodded, about to respond when the door opened and Bo walked in, trailed by a man and a woman in dark business suits. Looking to Kevin and then back to John, Bo nodded quickly. "I see no one threw any punches."

"We've come to something of an understanding," Kevin acknowledged. "As much as I might personally want to punch his lights out, John and I both want to find Natalie, and that has to be everyone's first priority right now."

"I'm glad to hear you say that," Bo said, looking over his shoulder at the two federal agents behind him. "Because this case just got a whole lot more complicated."

* * *

Nora grimaced when she heard Bree scream from upstairs. Picking up the two cups of tea from the tray, she turned and handed one to Viki.

"Doesn't sound like Clint and Jessica are having much luck," she commented as they settled in on the couch in the library.

Viki shook her head and sighed. "Bree might take this harder than any of us."

"Are she and Natalie really that close?"

"Oh, heavens, yes," Viki said with a sad smile. "After Nash died, when Tess returned, Natalie practically raised her for all those months. Even when Jessica returned, it wasn't easy for Bree to let go of that connection to Natalie. It's taken a long time for Jessica to rebuild that bond with her daughter, and even now, if Bree's going to cry out for someone in the middle of the night, chances are it's Natalie, not Jessica."

"Well how did she handle it when Natalie wasn't living at Llanfair?" Nora asked. "When she was living with Brody? Or with John?"

"The first night that Natalie and Liam were gone, Bree took Jessica's cell phone and called Natalie seven times that night," Viki said, chuckling a bit at the memory. "Natalie finally called the house phone and told Jessica to take the phone away from her daughter because she needed to sleep. She got used to it eventually, but if she thinks something's wrong, it's not going to help that Jessica can't call Natalie and have her talk to Bree. That alone will confirm something is very wrong. It's going to be very hard on her if they tell her what's happening."

"And what about you?" Nora asked gently.

"What about me?"

"How are you handling everything? You've hardly said a word about you since you got here."

"It's just all so surreal, Nora. It doesn't seem like it's really happening," Viki admitted with a sigh. "This morning, my biggest problem was figuring out how to keep Tina from hiring belly dancers for my wedding reception…and now my daughter's been kidnapped? I can't wrap my head around it. I just wish we had more information."

"What do you mean?"

"I just wish I _knew_ something," Viki said. "It seems like we don't have a clue what's going on, and it's terrifying me. If I knew who had her, if we knew what they wanted…at least then we'd have something to work with. I don't know what do with myself sitting around waiting for a ransom demand."

"There won't be any ransom," Kevin said solemnly as he walked into the library.

"How do you know that?" Viki asked anxiously.

Kevin sighed and looked at his mother sadly. "They know who has Natalie, Mom. And he's not after money."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** So to follow up a shorter chapter, I give you...my longest chapter yet! I hope you all enjoy!

* * *

Bo took a deep breath before clearing his throat as he stepped out of his office, drawing the attention of the officers gathered at his request. "Alright everyone, let's get started," he said quickly, forcing the room to quiet down. "I need you all need to pay attention and if you have any questions, ask them now, not later. We need everyone on the same page with this one, we're working against a very fast clock here."

Bo nodded to the two agents behind him and the woman stepped forward. "Good evening, everyone. I'm Special Agent Grace Sutton, this Special Agent Kyle Thomas."

"Agents Sutton and Thomas are here to assist with the investigation," Bo said. "Now before anyone gets in a jurisdictional fit, let's make one thing clear here - your _only_ priority right now is bringing Natalie Banks home safely. That's it. Now, officially Llanview PD is retaining our jurisdiction in the investigation, but let's be honest - we're not working with much. Agents Sutton and Thomas are our experts here, so I expect each and every one of you to work _with _them on this case."

"Here's what we know…as some of you may be aware, blood from your suspected assailant was found on Mrs. Banks' car," Agent Sutton said. "That blood is a positive match to the DNA of a man Agent Thomas and I have been investigating for almost a year. I'm afraid that even after that much time, we don't have a whole lot in the way of specifics on our suspect. He's male, approximately 30 to 35 years old. Despite what the circumstances of the abduction might indicate, he is _not_ a law enforcement officer."

"He does want to be one, though," Agent Thomas added. "Our suspect idolized the police. In fact, I guarantee that he's applied to work in law enforcement in the past, probably multiple times. He's been rejected every time, though."

"It won't be immediately apparent upon meeting him, but he's probably got some sort of physical impairment which prevents him from passing an employment physical," Agent Sutton said.

"To date, we've linked him to eight abductions and murders over the past ten months," Agent Thomas explained. "He's mostly been working in the south, but he's been slowly moving north with each case."

"Why haven't we heard about this guy?" an officer called out from the back of the room.

"He moved further than we had anticipated," Agent Thomas said. "When I said he was moving north, I meant incrementally. His last confirmed victim was a little over a month ago, just outside of Charlotte, North Carolina. We've been expecting his next victim to be in Virginia, maybe in the D.C. area. Nothing in his history would have predicted he'd come this far north."

"Hold on!" another officer shouted. "I read something about a killer down in Florida. Are you talking about the Bleeding Heart Killer?"

Agent Sutton grimaced visibly at the name, but nodded. "We prefer to avoid sensationalizing killers with names like that, but yes, that is who we're talking about here."

"Why do they call him the Bleeding Heart Killer?"

Agent Thomas raised his hand for silence. "That's enough," he said sternly. "The media gave him that name because of how he kills his victims. But before any of you go getting excited about this - and I can already see that in some of your eyes - let's get something straight here, alright? I understand that you all know and work with Natalie Banks. Think about that for a minute. Think about the last time you saw her." Agent Thomas paused and let everyone's minds wander before nodding at Agent Sutton in a move they clearly did quite often.

"While you're sitting here thinking about how great this story is going to go over the next time you're at the bar," she said. "Our killer is out there with that young woman you were just thinking about. As we speak, he's probably transporting Natalie Banks to the spot where he's going to leave her to die."

"He's had her for nearly twenty-four hours," Agent Thomas continued. "He's never kept a victim longer than that. For the twenty-four hours that he's had her, he's been pumping her full of drugs to paralyze her so that she won't be able to move when he leaves her, and to thin her blood so that when he carves a heart in her side - which is his signature - she'll bleed to death in approximately three hours."

"So if you want to get excited, I suggest you think twice," Agent Sutton warned. "Because in less than an hour, Natalie Banks is going to be out there somewhere - alone, scared, unable to move, and fully aware that she's running out of time."

* * *

Natalie groaned as her body slammed into the side of the bed of the pickup truck before rolling back to the center. She almost wished that bastard had tied her up like he had at the cabin just so she could have been spared the bruises she knew were sure to form.

As soon as she thought it, she knew it was ridiculous. She'd seen his face. He hadn't worn a mask or disguised his voice or tried in any way to hide his identity. Kidnappers didn't do that. Even Hayes Barber had worn a mask for most of the time he'd had her. Natalie had enough experience to know that the only reason he wouldn't at least make an effort to disguise his identity was that he was certain she'd never live to identify him. He wasn't just planning to kill her, he was cocky enough to have no doubts that he'd be successful.

She didn't know exactly who he was, but Natalie did know one thing - he'd picked the wrong girl to mess with. She wasn't sure how or when she'd get away, but she knew this couldn't be how she died. Not with her parents finally getting married in a few months. Not when Jessica was just starting to recover from everything that happened with Ford. Not with Liam waiting for her at home, depending on her for everything. And certainly not when there was still so much unresolved with John. She knew that no matter what her unknown captor intended, she had far too much to live for.

She took a deep breath and tried moving her hand again. Nothing. She didn't feel injured, so she assumed he'd drugged her to keep her from moving - and whatever it was he'd used, it was working. She couldn't even get her head lifted far enough off the bed of the truck to see where they were headed.

Looking up again, Natalie supposed she should be grateful that at least it was a clear night and she could see the stars. She squinted as she stared upward, trying to remember what the constellations had looked like the last time she'd sat with John on the roof and watched them.

"North," she whispered wearily as she finally began piecing the constellations together. There was something comforting about at least knowing which direction they were headed, even if it did nothing to get her closer to her freedom.

As the truck slowed and veered off the paved road, Natalie cast her eyes up toward the stars and did the only thing she could think of - she prayed.

_Angels bless and angels keep/Angels guard me while I sleep/Bless my heart, bless my home/Bless my spirit as I roam…_

* * *

_…Bless my spirit as I roam/Guide and guard me through the night/Wake me in the morning's light._

Rex clenched his fists and let out a breath as he finished the prayer and leaned back against the wall outside the Llanview Police Department. It hadn't taken long for the press to get wind of the FBI's involvement in Natalie's case, and once they had, it had taken a few reporters even less time to figure out exactly who had Natalie, and it had hit the news before Bo or anyone else had the chance to prepare most of the Buchanan family.

They were all inside the station now, probably yelling and shouting to be heard over one another. It seemed to Rex that all they were accomplishing was wasting time, standing around while some psychopath got further away with his sister. He wanted to be out there searching, doing _something_ other than standing there and feeling useless.

With a sigh, he closed his eyes and started again with the only prayer he knew, the one Natalie had taught him all those years ago.

_Angels bless and angels keep/Angels guard me while I sleep…_

"Talking to yourself, Balsom?"

Rex opened his and rolled them as Joey approached him. "Like you care?"

Joey shook his head and held up his hands defensively. "Geez, no need to bite my head off. Search and rescue is in place and they've finished the grids of the area south of town, so I'm only here to make sure you know the search parties are headed out in about fifteen minutes…and to make sure you're alright."

Rex scoffed. "Somehow I doubt that. You draw the short stick?"

"Not this time," Joey said. "Trust me, I'd rather be here than back at Llanfair telling Mom and Dad that another serial killer's got Natalie."

"Kevin's still not back yet?"

Joey shook his head. "First he's got to convince Mom that she's better off waiting for news at Llanfair, then he's got to convince Dad that his heart isn't up to being part of the search party Bo's organizing. It's an uphill battle."

"He'll have more trouble with Viki," Rex predicted.

"Probably," Joey agreed. "So, what exactly are you doing out here?"

"Praying."

Joey glanced at his younger brother skeptically. "You?"

Rex shrugged. "What? You think God wouldn't listen to me?"

"I didn't say that," Joey said. "You've just never struck me as the praying type."

"I'm not," Rex admitted. "I only know one prayer."

"Well go on," Joey encouraged. "Let's hear it."

Rex shook his head. "Nah. It's stupid."

"Oh come on, Balsom. I'm not going to make fun of a prayer."

Rex hesitated for a moment. "Alright, but if you laugh, I'm decking you and telling everyone tripped on a tree branch when we're out searching the woods," Rex warned. "It goes like this…_Angels bless and angels keep/Angles guard me while I sleep…_"

Rex's voice trailed off in surprise as Joey picked up the words. "_Bless my heart, bless my home/Bless my spirit as I roam…_" He shook his head in disbelief before rejoining his brother to finish the verse together. "_Guide and guard me through the night/Wake me in the morning's light._"

"Where'd you learn that?" Rex asked.

"I think I've always known it," Joey admitted. "I guess Mom taught it to us. Kevin, Jessica and I used to say it together every night before we went to bed. Sometimes we'd say a different one, but that one was Jessica's favorite, so we probably used it more than the others. Where'd you learn it?"

"Natalie."

"Natalie?" Joey asked in surprise.

Rex nodded. "I have no idea where she picked it up…I don't even think she knew how she knew it, but yeah, Natalie taught it to me. When we were kids and Roxy was out late at the casinos or passed out drunk in the living room and we were all alone, she'd have me recite it with her, over and over again. She said the angels would keep us safe."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **Meant to have this up yesterday, but it wasn't quite ready. I think it is now, so please enjoy. And thank you again to those of you who are reviewing - I love hearing your thoughts on this story!

* * *

"Uncle Bo!"

Bo looked up from the map he was studying and nodded to the officer guarding the edge of their make-shift field headquarters. "He's alright, Rick, let him through."

"Uncle Bo, tell me you've found something," Kevin said anxiously as he pushed his way past the officer and toward Bo.

"I wish I could, Kevin," Bo said. "We've only just started searching. It might be a while. How're your parents taking it?"

"Not good," Kevin admitted. "It took everything I could think up to keep them from coming out here right now."

"Are they back at the house?"

Kevin nodded. "Jessica and Kelly are there with them. I think Tina and Gigi were on their way over too."

"Good, good," Bo nodded and glanced back down at the maps spread out on the table in front of him.

"Where are you focusing?" Kevin asked, squinting to see in spite of the bright lights set up around the table.

Bo sighed and pointed to a spot on the map. "Natalie's car was found here. We're starting a few miles south of there and working our way outward from that spot."

"You really think he would have stayed that close to where he grabbed her?"

"According to the FBI, five of his victims have been found within a seven mile radius of where they were abducted," Bo said. "It's not much, but it's the best information we have. Anywhere else and we're looking for a needle in a haystack…and we don't have time for that."

"They've been on this guy for a year and they can't give us anything more than that?"

"Kevin, if they could, don't you think that they would?" Bo pointed out. "You heard them when they briefed us - this guy's good. He's left very little evidence except what he wanted them to find. This is the first time there's even been a chance of finding someone alive, and that's only because your sister knew enough to make sure there was something in the car to identify him."

"It just seems like there should be more," Kevin said. "Something specific, something you could use to get a better idea of where she is."

"I wish there was," Bo said with a heavy sigh as he looked at the maps and considered the vast area they had to search. "Believe me, I wish there was."

* * *

Viki felt an uneasy sense of deja vu as she sat on the couch in the library and stared at the phone on the coffee table in front of her.

"Are you alright, Mom?" Jessica asked, slipping onto the couch next to her and slipping her hand into hers.

Viki frowned and looked at Jessica out of the corner of her eye.

"Okay, right, stupid question." Jessica sighed and squeezed her mother's hand. "You know, Mom, we seem to spend an awful lot of time sitting around worrying about Natalie."

"I've spent an awful lot of time worrying about you as well," Viki pointed out.

Jessica smiled. "I know. And I'm sure there'll be plenty more opportunities for worrying about both of us in the future."

"I certainly hope you're right," Viki said, glancing down at the phone. "I just wish one of your brothers would call. There are so many people out there looking, they have to find something…right?"

"Of course they're going to find something," Kelly said, taking a seat on the other side of Viki and taking her other hand. "Come on, Viki, this is Natalie we're talking about. If anyone knows how to outwit a psychopath, it's her."

"She's certainly had enough experience," Jessica agreed.

"Do you remember the last time?" Viki asked anxiously. "When Hayes Barber had her? We all sat around here, so helpless…"

"And do you remember what I told you then?" Jessica asked gently.

Viki frowned and shook her head.

"She's not going to quit until she finds her way home," Jessica repeated. "And what happened last time?"

"She came home," Viki said with a sad smile.

"More like, John brought her home," Kelly pointed out.

"I think it's a good sign that he's back," Jessica said. "It has to be, right?"

"John's back in Llanview?" Kelly asked in surprise.

Jessica nodded. "Kevin saw him down at the station. He said Uncle Bo gave him his job back."

"In that case, that's a really good sign," Kelly said. "He's out there looking for her and he'll bring her back, just like he did last time."

"Except last time, at least they had an idea of where to look," Viki said. "This maniac could have her a hundred miles from here or she could be a hundred yards out the back door, and we don't have a clue."

Jessica sighed and shook her head as Kelly struggled for a response. All three women looked up expectantly when they heard the front door slam.

"I hope I'm not intruding," Roxy said anxiously as she rushed into the library. "I heard they were out looking for Natty and I figured everyone would be here and I…"

"Roxy, you're not intruding," Viki assured her. "Please, have a seat."

"Oh, I don't think I could sit," Roxy proclaimed as she flopped down in a chair across from the couch. "This is all just so awful! My poor kid can't seem to catch a break."

"They'll find her," Jessica insisted.

"But when?" Roxy asked impatiently. "And in the meantime, just think of poor Natalie out there, all by herself. My poor, poor Natty, she's probably in so much pain…she must be so scared…"

* * *

Natalie smiled and let out a soft sigh as she opened her eyes and found herself surrounded by a soft white light instead of the darkness she had expected. She couldn't quite make out the person she saw standing over her, but she instinctively reached out her hand and placed it in the one outstretched toward her. She was momentarily surprised that she was able to lift her own hand, but as she let herself be pulled up off the cold ground, she felt an overwhelming sense of peace, as though a great weight had been lifted from her chest.

Following closely behind what she could now see was a blonde woman in an airy white dress, she soon looked around to find the woods of Llantano Mountain gone, replaced by a pure white room.

"Where am I?" Natalie hesitated and looked around as a thought suddenly occurred to her. "Is this heaven? Am I…dead?"

"Not quite."

Natalie frowned and took a few steps closer to the woman who had led her to this place, realizing for the first time that she had blindly followed someone she didn't even know. And yet, despite being certain that they had never met before, Natalie couldn't shake the feeling that somehow she did know this woman standing in front of her.

"Who are you?"

The woman smiled and took Natalie's hands in hers. "Don't you know me, Natalie?"

Natalie started to shake her head but stopped as it suddenly hit her with absolute certainty - she didn't know how, but she knew exactly who she was talking to.

"Megan?" she whispered in amazement, staring in awe at the older sister she'd never known.

The other woman smiled broadly and nodded. "Hi, Natalie."

"But you're…you're…"

"Dead?" Megan prompted gently. "I know. It's a lot to take in, isn't it?"

"But I'm not dead?" Natalie asked anxiously.

"Not quite."

"You said that before, but I still don't know what it means," Natalie said. "If I'm not dead, what is this? Some sort of dream?"

Megan smiled and shook her head as placed a hand on Natalie's cheek. "Oh no, this is all very real, Natalie."

Natalie brought her hand up and placed it over her sister's. "You're really here?"

Megan nodded as she wrapped her arms around her younger sister and hugged her close. "Oh Natalie, I am so happy to finally be meeting you. I've watched you for so many years, but I never imagined that we'd be meeting this soon."

"You watched me?" Natalie asked skeptically as pulled back, wiping at the tears on her face.

"Well, yes," Megan admitted. "We're allowed to look in on our loved ones from time to time. Things in Llanview have certainly been…well, exciting since you arrived."

"You saw all of that?" Natalie asked sheepishly. "That first year in Llanview?"

Megan laughed. "Yes, I did. But before you get embarrassed, let's just say I wasn't exactly daughter-of-the-year material when I first found out that Viki was my mother either, so I'm in no place to judge. I came around, though, and so did you. Mom tends to have that affect on people."

"Yeah, she definitely does," Natalie agreed. "Do you miss her?"

"Every day," Megan said sadly. "But as I said, I get to look in on her every now and then."

"Is that enough?"

Megan shrugged. "It's all anyone gets, so it has to be."

"Is that what's going to happen to me?" Natalie asked anxiously. "Am I dying? Is that what this is?"

"I don't know," Megan admitted. "All I know is that I'm here to help you be ready if it is your time."

"It's not," Natalie said immediately. "I can't die, Megan. I have a son who needs me. And I need more than just looking in on him from time to time. I need to be with my son, I need to watch him grow up. I can't die, not now."

"Everyone who comes here has someone who still needs them, Natalie," Megan said gently. "There will always be ties to our earthly life that are hard to break, but that's what you're here for - to decide if you're ready to move on from those."

"I'm not," Natalie insisted. "I'm not ready. I want to go back, Megan! I have to live…I have to!"


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** This chapter's a little different than the rest, it's all about Natalie and her trip up to heaven. I considered a lot of people for who she would meet while her life was in the balance, but I think these three balance out different perspectives pretty well. As always, I hope you enjoy it!

* * *

"I'm not," Natalie insisted. "I'm not ready. I want to go back, Megan! I have to live…I have to!"

"Natalie, I know you're scared," Megan said, taking her sister's hand again. "And I know this is hard to hear and even harder to accept. Believe me, I've been where you are now. It's not easy to be ready, but Natalie, if you are, there's so much waiting for you on the other side. We could finally have the chance to get to know each other, to be sisters…to be together like we should have been all those years ago."

"But my son…"

"Has grandparents who will love him," Megan said. "Liam has Jessica and Kevin and Joey and Rex and Cord…that little boy has more aunts and uncles and cousins than he'll know what to do with. He's got a whole family who will rally around him. And don't forget, he has his father. John McBain will be there for that little boy."

Natalie shook her head. "It's not the same, Megan. Liam needs his mother…he needs me! I _have_ to live!"

"You tell her, kid."

Megan rolled her eyes but Natalie gasped happily at the powerful voice behind her. Quickly turning around, she grinned and clasped her hands to her mouth before throwing herself into the man's arms.

"Grandpa!"

Asa Buchanan smiled proudly as he put his hands on her shoulders and looked her up and down. "Look at my little Natalie, all grown up."

"Oh come on, I wasn't a little kid the last time you saw me," Natalie pointed out.

"No, but you're different now," Asa said. "Having a kid does that to you, I guess. And it looks damn good on you, kiddo."

Natalie blushed. "I've missed you so much."

"And I've missed you." Asa hugged Natalie again before turning to face Megan. "Now, what's this about trying to convince my granddaughter to die?"

Megan sighed and cast her eyes upward. "Really?" she muttered. "Of all the spirits who know her, you send Asa Buchanan to help?" Shaking her head, she glared at him. "Asa, I only want what's best for my sister."

"_Your _sister? You mean _my_ granddaughter, who is not dying today and leaving my great-grandson on his own."

"No, I mean _my_ sister," Megan said forcefully. "You know how this works, Asa. It's not our job to decide who lives or who dies. It's only our job to make sure she's ready if it's her time. You think I want her to die?"

"You're the one blabbering on about finally getting to know your sister, and how the kid's going to be okay," Asa said.

"I'm starting to see why you don't get that many of these assignments," Megan said. "Don't you see? Everything I've told her is true. She has to know that if she chooses to let go, the ones she loves will grieve, but that they'll be alright in the end."

"You think that boy's going to be alright growing up without his mother?" Asa asked skeptically. "That's a load of bull, of course he won't be alright!"

"Asa," Megan said, her tone gentle but firm. "You and I do not get to decide if she lives or dies. Our job is to make sure she's ready to let go if that's her fate."

"And if I'm not ready?" Natalie asked.

"Then you go back and you fight like hell," Asa said. "Your parents have been here, your Uncle Bo, your cousin Matthew…they've all come and they've all gone back to fight, and you will too."

"It may not be that simple, Asa."

Natalie felt the tears returning to her eyes at the new male voice in the room. Turning around slowly, she nearly broke down completely when she saw the man behind her.

"Oh my God," she gasped, staring in disbelief. "Jared?"

"Hiya, Sparky." Jared grinned and opened his arms. "What, I don't get a hug?"

Natalie smiled and nodded through her tears as she stepped forward and he pulled her into his arms. Leaning back slightly, he brushed a piece of hair from her face before he leaned down and kissed her softly.

"I missed you so much," Natalie sighed as she reluctantly pulled back from the kiss. "When you got shot…"

"Hey, that's all over with now," Jared assured her. "We're here, and I love you."

"I love you too," Natalie said.

Jared smiled and kissed her again. "I've waited so long for the day you'd be here with me again."

"Excuse me!" Asa bellowed from behind Natalie. "What the hell happened to not dying today?"

"And what happened to helping her decide for herself if she's ready?" Megan countered.

"Would both of you just back off?" Jared snapped, still holding Natalie close to him. "Look, Asa, as much as I would love to have Natalie here with us, I hate the idea of it happening this way…but the fact of the matter is, it's happening. And Megan, I know you're used to there being a choice, but this may not be one of those situations."

"One of what situations?" Natalie asked in confusion.

Jared sighed and ran his hand over her cheek. "A lot of times, when a person is close to dying, there's a moment where they have a choice - to live or to die, to stay or to go, to decide if they're ready to move on."

"That's why you're here," Natalie said knowingly, turning to Megan. "To help me make that decision?"

Megan nodded. "That's what I thought, anyway. But now…Natalie, it doesn't always work like that."

"What do you mean?" Natalie asked anxiously. "If there's a choice, I'm making it. Jared, I love you so much, and there hasn't been a day that's gone by that I haven't missed you. And the thought of staying with you…it's amazing. But I have to live, I can't die now. I have a son who needs me, my whole family needs me, and John…"

"And John needs you," Jared said with a sad smile, noting the guilt in her eyes. "It's okay, Sparky, I know about you and John. But what we're trying to say is that there isn't always a choice to be made. Sometimes, evil has already made the decision, and there's nothing we can do about it."

"I don't understand," Natalie said.

"Natalie, when I died, I'd lived a good, long life," Asa said. "I'd made my share of mistakes, but I'd loved my children and my grandchildren and even some of my great-grandchildren, and I'd loved one hell of a good woman. As much as I would have loved to have stayed and been a part of your lives for a little bit longer, I was ready to accept that it was time to let go and time to go be with another part of my family, the ones who had passed before me."

"Being ready doesn't mean it's easy," Megan added. "And it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt to leave your loved ones behind, but sometimes you have to. I was young, Natalie, too young. I had wonderful parents and a sister that I grew up with, and later on, I had been blessed to have Viki as another mother, and Jessica and Joey and Kevin as my little brothers and sister. And I found a man who loved me more than anything in the world. When I got sick, I fought so hard to stay with all of them…but in the end, I was just so tired, and when the time came…well, I knew that I had done all that I could in my life and fighting for a few more days or weeks spent in a hospital bed wasn't going to make a difference. As much as it hurt to do it, I was ready to move on. In different ways, Asa and I both came to the same decision when our time came."

"But how is this different?" Natalie asked in confusion. Megan sighed and looked over at Jared, who nodded and slowly turned Natalie around to face him again.

"Natalie, when I got shot, I would have moved heaven and earth to stay with you if I could have," Jared explained. "When I got here, I fought like crazy to not move on, because damn it all, I wasn't ready…even now, I still know I wasn't ready. You and I, we'd barely even gotten started. There was so much more we should have been able to do, so much of life left for the two of us to experience. We were supposed to have a honeymoon and babies and a house and I was prepared to fight like hell to go back and have all of that…but in the end, I didn't get a choice. There was too much damage…there was no body to go back to. As much as I wanted to fight it, as much as I wanted to hold on for you, I had to let go."

"What are you saying? It doesn't matter what I want? It doesn't matter if I fight? That doesn't make any sense, Jared! I can't just let go!"

Megan stepped forward and took Natalie's hand, pointing to a nearby wall. "Natalie, look," she instructed as the white of the wall slowly faded and was replaced with the image of Natalie's motionless body.

"Oh my God," Natalie gasped. "Is that me?"

Megan nodded. "Natalie, look at where you are."

"Llantano Mountain," Natalie said, recognizing her surroundings. "So what?"

"So there are people looking for you, Natalie," Jared explained. "John and Bo have a large search party out to find you."

"That's a good thing," Natalie said. "That means they could still find me, Jared. There's still a chance."

"The idiots are combing the area surrounding where your car was found," Asa said.

Natalie frowned. "But…I drove south that night," she said, her eyes widening as the realization hit her. "Llantano Mountain is north of town."

"They'll never find you in time," Megan said gently. "I'm sorry, Natalie."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **Thank you all for the reviews! I am so happy that you all are enjoying the moments of Natalie in heaven (or limbo, or wherever exactly it is)...I have to admit, I'm having a lot of fun writing Jared, Asa and Megan, but I promise not to drag that part out too long, because I know we're all anxious to see Natalie back with her family soon.

* * *

"No, there has to be a way," Natalie insisted. "They have to find me, they have to! I can't bleed to death in a forest, Jared, that's absurd!"

"I wish there was something I could do," Jared said. "I really do, Sparky, but there isn't."

"Don't listen to him," Asa said. "Use that Buchanan spirit and fight, Natalie. You may have this bozo's last name, but you're a Buchanan through and through."

"And Buchanans don't give up," Natalie said.

"Damn straight we don't," Asa agreed proudly. "A Buchanan can solve any problem with brains, guts and hard work."

"And exactly how is any of that going to help Natalie right now, Asa?" Megan asked impatiently. "Look at her body there. How exactly are brains or guts or hard work going to stop her from bleeding out? You can't just think really hard and force her blood to clot. You know that sometimes we can't help these things."

"I have to be able to stop this," Natalie said. "You don't understand. I love John…we have to have the chance to at least try to make things right again. Liam needs me, he needs his mother to teach him and love him and help him grow up to be the man I know he can be. I can't leave when he's only a baby."

"Natalie…"

"And Mom…what about Mom? She needs me too, don't you see? She's already lost one daughter, she can't lose another," Natalie continued. "And Dad, he's just turning his life around. He's finally acting like the man we all knew he could be, but losing a child…I don't know what this would do to him. I can't be the thing that undoes all the progress he's made! And Kevin…he's lost so much, with Ace and with Duke…and the rest of my brothers, they're all so protective, it'll be so hard for all of them. I can't do that to them, I can't die on them. And Jessica…my God, Jessica…she's my twin, we're connected, we…"

"Natalie?" Megan prompted gently as Natalie's voice trailed off and her eyes widened.

"I need to see Jessica," Natalie said.

"Why?" Megan asked.

"I need to see her!" Natalie insisted.

Megan frowned and looked over at Jared and Asa, who shrugged in confusion. "Alright," Megan agreed, turning toward the wall and waving her hand. The images of Natalie's body slowly faded and were replaced by Jessica, sitting in the Llanfair kitchen with Tina, staring at the teacup in her hands instead of listening to her aunt.

Natalie took a step closer and shut her eyes to focus. "Jessica, please," she whispered.

"Natalie, she can't…" Megan began.

"Oh, for God's sake, let the girl try!" Asa interrupted. "It's not like there's anything else we can do."

"Jessica, please hear me," Natalie continued. "Help me! Look north, Jessica…the mountain…come find me…Jessie, please!"

* * *

"I just don't get it," Tina said, leaning back in her chair at the kitchen table and patting her dog's head. "Your mother is being completely unreasonable. Those ice sculptures I showed her for the reception are certainly _not_ tacky."

"Tina…" Jessica began, frustration in her voice as she stood up from her seat and walked over to the tea kettle on the stove.

"Or the belly dancers," Tina continued. "What is so wrong with belly dancers?"

"Tina, did it ever occur to you that maybe Mom doesn't want a big wedding?" Jessica asked impatiently. "This is going to be her tenth marriage, don't you think maybe she's done the fanfare already?"

"Oh please, you say ten like it's a bad thing. It's just experience. Besides, she's not even increasing her husband count this time."

Jessica frowned as she opened her tea bag and turned to look at her aunt. "Her what?"

"Her husband count," Tina said, shrugging her shoulders as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Your mother has had seven husbands, and even after this wedding, it'll still be seven husbands. She's just double-dipped a few times."

"Fine, well, whether it's seven or ten, I'm pretty sure this will be her last," Jessica said. "And she's made it very clear that all she and Dad want is a simple ceremony with their children and grandchildren."

"What about me?" Tina asked defensively. "Doesn't her sister make the cut too?"

Jessica smirked. "Well, seeing as you're married to my brother, I guess you're included in the children column. It seemed rather appropriate to me."

Tina frowned and looked down at the tiny dog in her lap. "David Vickers, I think I was just insulted by my niece…or maybe by my sister-in-law. I'm entirely not sure which one I'm talking to right now."

"Tina, I don't…"

_"Jessica, please hear me…help me! Look north, Jessica…the mountain…come find me…Jessie, please!"_

Jessica froze, not even flinching as the tea cup slipped out of her hand and fell to the floor, shattering into thousands of little fragments.

"Jessica?" Tina jumped to her feet and hurried over to her niece. "Are you alright?"

"Did you hear that?" Jessica whispered.

"Hear what?" Tina asked in confusion. "The cup breaking?"

"No. Did you…" Jessica shook her head quickly. "Never mind. Tina, I've got to go."

"What?"

"I've got to go," Jessica said, grabbing her purse from the nearby counter.

"What? Where? Why?" Tina gaped at Jessica. "What am I supposed to tell your mother?"

"I can't explain right now," Jessica said. "Just make something up if Mom asks."

"Make something up?" Tina muttered, scooping her dog back into her arms as Jessica rushed out the back door. "David Vickers, today has been a very troubling day, and it just keeps getting worse. Where on earth could she be going?"

* * *

Bo shoved his phone back in his pocket as he made his way back toward the bright lights surrounding the table with the maps of the area.

"That the mayor?" John asked, marking off another section of the map without looking up.

"She's not loving the press swarm that's hitting town," Bo said. "Something about a serial killer being bad publicity for Llanview. I told her I didn't give a damn what anyone thought about Llanview, my job wasn't to promote tourism, it was to bring Natalie home safely."

"You better be careful, she might fire you again," John pointed out.

"After the way she got raked over the coals for the Statesville breakout? I don't think so, but you know something, John? At this point, I really don't care if she does or not," Bo admitted, looking down at the maps. "How many more sections do have left to clear?"

"We've got reports from the searchers in every section except these two here," John said, pointing to a corner of the map.

"Who's covering those?"

"Um…" John glanced at a list to the side of the map. "Rex and Cord have this one here, and the last one is David and Matthew."

Bo sighed. "Well, I suppose we can start organizing the rest of the volunteers for the next grid while we wait for them to report in."

"I think we need to…" John paused and looked up at the sound of a car door slamming, frowning when he saw Jessica trying to push her way past one of the officers standing on the perimeter of their makeshift headquarters.

"I've got this one," Bo said, making his way over to his niece. "Jessica, what are you doing here?"

"Uncle Bo, you have to move!" Jessica said anxiously. "We have to look north, on the mountain."

"What are you talking about?" Bo asked.

"That's where Natalie is," Jessica insisted. "She's not down here, she's on Llantano Mountain."

"How do you know that?"

"I can't…Uncle Bo, I can't explain, I just know," Jessica said. "Please, we have to look for her up there!"

"Jessica, the best thing we have to go on is Natalie's car," Bo said gently. "I know you want to help, but just let us do our job, okay? We'll find her."

"Not here you won't," Jessica said. "She's running out of time and you're wasting time here, I can feel it!"

"Jessica, if you can give any reason to think that Natalie's up on Llantano Mountain, please tell me," Bo said. "I can't redirect the whole search based on a gut feeling, though."

"Please," Jessica pleaded, tears streaming down her face. "Uncle Bo, you have to listen to me!"

Bo sighed and squeezed her hand. "Jessica, I'm sorry," he said. "I have to go brief the volunteers on our next search area."

Jessica shook her head and bit her lip as he walked away, her shoulders shaking as she slumped against a nearby tree and sobbed. A split second later, she turned her head in confusion as a hand grasped her elbow and pulled her up.

"How sure are you?" John asked as he dragged her to her feet.

"What?"

"How sure are you that Natalie's on Llantano Mountain?"

Jessica hesitated for a moment, her breath shaking. "I'm betting her life on it, John."

"Okay," John said quietly, nodding as he kept his grip on her elbow and steered her toward his car. "Let's go."


	12. Chapter 12

Jessica let out a shaky breath as she wrapped her arms around herself and leaned back in the passenger seat of John's car.

"You cold?" John asked, reaching for the heat controls.

Jessica shook her head. "Just drive."

"Okay." John pulled his hand back and focused on the road. "You have anything more specific about where we're going? Llantano Mountain's a big place."

"I don't know," Jessica admitted. "I guess I didn't think that part through."

John nodded and thought for a moment. "There's only one road up the mountain," he said slowly. "If he's not familiar with the area, he probably won't go too far off the beaten path. We'll start at the first clearing and work our way up from there."

"We don't have much time," Jessica said. "_Natalie_ doesn't have much time."

"You don't know that for sure."

"Yes I do," Jessica insisted. "I can't explain it, John, but I do know that. I've felt it before, but never this strong. It's always been just this weird, undefined feeling from time to time, but right now, I can hear her. I can feel what she's feeling, John. She's scared, and she's desperate, because she's running out of time."

"We'll get there," John said.

"How can you be so sure?" Jessica asked skeptically.

"Because I can't think about the alternative," John admitted, speeding up just a bit as he pulled off the highway and onto the road leading to the mountain. "I lost one woman I loved, I won't lose another. Not like this."

Jessica shook her head and looked away out the window. "I don't understand you, John. I don't get this."

"Get what?"

"This thing you have with Natalie," Jessica said, turning back to look at him. "It's like if you're not in a life or death situation, you forget how much you love her."

"You really want to have this conversation now?" John asked incredulously.

"Yeah, I do," Jessica said. "Last night, Natalie was ready to forgive you and move on, until that woman answered your phone. Twenty-four hours ago, you were with someone else, so don't try to tell me that you're here because you love my sister."

"For the record, I was _not_ with Sam last night, my phone was with her at my lawyer's house. I was at a hotel," John said. "You really don't think I love Natalie?"

"I don't think love's your problem, John. But sometimes it's not enough," Jessica said, looking out the window again. "Pull off here."

"Here? I thought we'd go up just a little bit further. It's a…"

"Pull off here, John," Jessica insisted, reaching for her door handle as soon as he slowed the car. "I have a feeling again."

John sighed and cut the engine, reaching into the back and pulling out two flashlights before stepping out of the car. "Are you alright splitting up?" he asked. "Normally I wouldn't suggest it, but if we're short on time, we'll cover more ground that way."

"Let's do it," Jessica said, grabbing a flashlight out of John's hand and taking off to the right.

"Great," John muttered reluctantly. "Holler if you find anything."

* * *

"It's really working," Megan said quietly, shaking her head in amazement as they watched John and Jessica start their search. "I can't believe Jessica actually heard you."

Natalie smiled wearily. "What can I say? She's my twin."

"Are you okay?" Jared asked concern as she leaned a little more heavily against him.

"I'm just so tired," Natalie admitted. "They're going to make it in time, aren't they?"

"They're close," Megan assured her. "Can you hang in there, Natalie?"

"I just want to sleep for a while," Natalie said, resting her head on Jared's shoulder.

Asa glanced over at Megan in concern. "Natalie, you can't do that if you're still fighting."

"I don't want to die," Natalie repeated for what felt like the hundredth time that night. Fighting against the weariness that suddenly seemed to be enveloping her, she watched as a look passed between her sister and her grandfather. "What is it?"

"Natalie, every second that passes…" Asa began.

"They're not going to make it, are they?" Natalie asked, resignation in her voice. "This is it?"

"It doesn't look like it, Sparky," Jared admitted.

"You put up one hell of a fight, Natalie," Asa said. "Just like a Buchanan should. I'm damn proud of you."

Natalie nodded and closed her eyes as she continued to lean heavily against Jared. "What happens now?"

"Now you move on," Jared said, turning her around so that she could see the doors on the other side of the room open up. "All you have to do is walk through those doors."

"Is it going to hurt?"

Megan smiled gently and shook her head. "Nothing's going to hurt anymore, Natalie."

"Are you all coming with me?" Natalie asked anxiously.

Asa nodded. "This is forever, kid. We're all going to be with you."

"And not just us, either," Megan said, pointing toward the doors as they all took a step closer. "Look, Natalie."

Natalie slowly raised her head, her eyes growing wide at the sight before her. There on the other side was everyone who'd gone before her - the ones she'd known and loved, and even some she'd never had the chance to know. Ben smiled sadly and waved from the front of the group, Nash standing just behind him with little Chloe sitting on his hip. She recognized her nephew Duke stood off to one side, his baby brother by his side, and her cousin Drew just behind him. She even thought she saw Robert Ford hovering in the background. And there were others, people she'd never have expected to recognize, all there for her - her baby niece Megan, her grandmother Eugenia and her aunt Meredith, even Kevin and Joey's father was there in the back of the crowd.

"Is this is really happening?" Natalie muttered in disbelief, taking another step closer to the doors and smiling despite the tears streaming down her face. It seemed impossible to her that all those people were there waiting for her. "They're all here for me?"

"They're here because they love you," Megan said gently, taking Natalie's hand from Jared as Natalie watched her grandfather and her husband walk through the doors and turn back to wait for her to join them. "Or because someone they loved loves you."

"I'll still be able to see Liam, right?"

"Of course."

Natalie took a deep breath and nodded slowly as Megan squeezed her hand gently. "Okay," she whispered. "Okay, I'm ready."

Natalie took one last breath and closed her eyes, gripping her sister's hand tightly as she began to walk forward. Just as she was about to cross the threshold, an unexpected sound made her freeze and turn her head.

"Natalie!"

* * *

John felt his heart stop for a moment as he stepped around a large tree and the beam of his flashlight fell on Natalie's lifeless body in a small clearing ahead.

"Natalie!" he called out, rushing to her side and dropping the flashlight as he ripped off his jacket, pressing it against the bleeding cut in her side. Using one hand to keep pressure on her wound, he reached the other up and cupped her cheek. "Natalie, open your eyes…please open your eyes, sweetheart. Come on, Natalie, keep fighting!"

Not getting a response, he shook his head and leaned forward, kissing her softly. "Come on, Natalie, fight for me. Fight for Liam," he whispered. "I know things have been bad, but you have to come back to me, Natalie. You told me once you needed to know that I'd fight for you, and I didn't do that, not like I should have, but I'm here now. I'm here, and you need to fight so that I can fight, Natalie. Liam and I still need you, Natalie…I love you."

Moving his hand down to her neck, John held his breath as he pressed two fingers against it, feeling for a pulse.

"Thank God," he sighed in relief when he felt a very faint pulse against his fingers. "Okay sweetheart, you just hang on, we're gonna get you to the hospital. Just hang on for a little while longer, Natalie, I'm here now."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: **So sorry I didn't get this up earlier in the week, it's been a crazy week! I hope you all enjoy!

* * *

Jared sighed as he walked up behind Megan. "Is it wrong that I wanted her to stay?"

Megan smiled and shook her head. "If it is, then I think all three of us were wrong," she admitted. "But she'll be back someday, Jared…and it may be sooner than we'd like."

"What are you two still going on about?" Asa asked, stepping back through the doors to find Jared and Megan still standing in the waiting room. "She went back. Our job is done."

"For the moment," Megan agreed, turning back to the wall to see John, now calling for Jessica but still kneeling at Natalie's side. "I'm afraid she's not out of danger yet, Asa. Her decision to fight has bought her some time, but it may still not be enough."

"So what do we do now?" Jared asked.

"Now we wait."

* * *

"Oh my God," Jessica gasped, freezing in place when the beam of her flashlight fell on John kneeling at Natalie's side. "She's not…?"

"She's alive," John said quickly. "Barely. We have to get her to the hospital, but we can't move her."

"Why not?" Jessica asked, hurrying to her sister's side. "You carry her, I'll drive."

John shook his head and looked down at Natalie. "I've got the bleeding stopped, but if I move my hand, it'll start again. She needs to be on a stretcher or she'll bleed out before we've even made it off the mountain."

"What can I do?" Jessica asked.

"Come over here and take my place," John said. "I need to call an ambulance, but there's no cell reception here. You keep the bleeding stopped, I'll go call for help."

"Okay," Jessica nodded, her hands hovering over Natalie's chest. "What do I do?"

"Put your hand on top of mine," John instructed. "Okay, when I pull back my hand, you press down and feel for the artery by her collar bone and keep pressure on that."

Jessica nodded as her hand the place of John's. "I've got it," she assured him. "Go call the ambulance."

John hesitated for a moment, leaning over and kissing Natalie's forehead before standing up and hurrying back toward the road.

"Hang in there, Natalie," Jessica said, tearing up as she looked down at her sister's lifeless body. "Just hang on for a few more minutes and help will be here."

"Jess…" Natalie's voice was slurred and weak, but Jessica grinned when she recognized her name coming from her sister's lips.

"Hey you," she said, smiling through her tears as Natalie's eyes opened a crack. "God, Natalie, you had me so scared today. Don't you ever do that to me again, okay?"

"Mmm…" Natalie muttered.

"No, no, no, don't close your eyes!" Jessica insisted. "Natalie, I know you're tired and you're scared, but you have to keep your eyes open, okay?"

"Can't…move…"

"I know, I know you can't, Natalie, but that't not permanent, so don't be scared," Jessica assured her. "Just keep your eyes open, okay? Look at me, Natalie. Keep your eyes on me."

"Liam…"

Jessica smiled and nodded. "That's it, Natalie. Focus on Liam, think about your son. He needs you, Natalie, that little boy needs his mother."

"Tell John…" Natalie took a ragged breath but didn't seem to be able to get out the rest of her words.

"No!" Jessica exclaimed. "Don't you dare start talking like that, Natalie! You hold on, you hear me? You are _not_ going to die today! For God's sake, pull it together and use some of that fight I know you've still got in you!"

"Love you…"

Jessica bit back a sob and shook her head. "Don't you do this to me, Natalie. We haven't had enough time, you and I…at least not enough when we weren't at each other's throats. Natalie, look at me…I'm out here in the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere, because _you_ called for me without even picking up a phone! I don't know how you did it, but I'm here, so don't you dare stop fighting now!"

Jessica pressed her hand a little harder against Natalie's chest, as though trying to will her into staying conscious.

"Ow…" Natalie muttered.

"Yeah, that's what you get for scaring the crap out of me," Jessica said, looking up as she heard a siren in the distance. "You hear that, Natalie? That's help coming. John's going to be back any second with the paramedics, so just hold on for me…hold on for him."

Suddenly, Natalie took a sharp breath and her eyes widened as she looked up at Jessica. Looking down at her sister, Jessica got the eerie feeling that despite the fact that her eyes were finally fully open, Natalie wasn't really seeing her.

"Natalie?" she asked hesitantly.

Natalie's eyes slowly starting closing again as she opened her mouth. "Jared," she whispered, so softly that Jessica wasn't entirely sure she'd heard her correctly.

"Natalie?" Jessica repeated in confusion. "Natalie, it's Jessica."

"Megan…" Natalie whispered again, a small smile on her lips before her eyes closed completed and her head fell to the side.

"Natalie!" Jessica screamed frantically, feeling the pulse under her fingers stop just as John and the paramedics rushed into the clearing.

* * *

"Why haven't they come out yet?" Jessica asked, pausing as she paced nervously back and forth across the hospital waiting room. Across the room, John sat slumped over in a chair, his forearms resting on his knee as he stared intently at the floor, not taking the energy to look up when Jessica spoke.

"It means they're still working on her," he said quietly, offering a brief shrug of his shoulders.

Jessica nodded, hesitating for a moment before taking a seat next to him. "I should call my mom," she said.

"I called Bo," John said. "He said he'd go to Llanfair and tell your parents himself."

"Oh. That's good." Jessica let out a deep breath and shifted nervously in her chair. "John?"

John turned his head toward her in response.

"Do you believe in heaven?"

John frowned but nodded. "Yeah. I think so."

"Me too," Jessica said sadly.

"She's not going to die," John insisted, knowing exactly where Jessica's thoughts were coming from.

"We keep saying that, but you saw her, John," Jessica pointed out. "They had such a hard time getting her heart started again on the mountain…what if we were too late?"

"Don't even…"

John didn't get to finish his thought as the door down the hall flew open and a stream of people rushed in, with Clint and Viki at the forefront.

"Mom!" Jessica called out, jumping to her feet.

"Oh Jessica," Viki sighed, wrapping her arms around her daughter. "Where is she? All we're heard is that she's alive. Is she alright?"

"I don't know," Jessica admitted. "It's bad, Mom…it's really bad. They haven't said anything yet, but I don't know…she lost so much blood out there. Maybe if I'd figured it out sooner, if we'd gotten there more quickly…"

"Don't talk like that," Clint interrupted. "Your sister is going to be just fine. Are you alright? Did you get hurt?"

"Me? No, I'm fine. Why?"

Viki hesitated and looked down at Jessica's shirt. "You're covered in blood, sweetheart."

Jessica frowned in confusion, looking down at her shirt and her hands, noticing for the first time that they were, in fact, stained with blood. "It's not mine," she said softly. "It's…it's Natalie's. I…we were trying to stop the bleeding. John figured if we kept pressure on the artery, but when they moved her, I had to move my hand. And then the blood…it was everywhere."

"Oh sweetheart." Viki shook her head and hugged Jessica again. "We'll get you some fresh clothes as soon as…"

The whole room quieted down as a doctor walked into the room.

"Family of Natalie Banks?"

"That's us," Clint said quickly, before anyone else could speak. Wrapping an arm around Viki, he turned to the doctor. "We're her parents."

The doctor nodded. "Your daughter lost a significant amount of blood tonight, but we've managed to stop the bleeding," the young doctor said. "Unfortunately, it's going to be hard to tell right away how much damage the loss of blood volume may have caused to her body. At this point, we're giving her blood transfusions and intravenous fluids, but there's not much more we can do other than wait and see how her body responds."

"Can we see her?" Viki asked.

The doctor shook his head. "Not just yet. Once she's stabilized, we'll move her up to the ICU and she can have limited visitors there, but for now, we need to be able to work, so we can't allow anyone in."

"Is she awake?" Jessica asked. "She shouldn't be alone if…"

"Ms. Banks hasn't been conscious since she came in," the doctor said.

"But she is going to wake up, isn't she?" Clint asked.

The doctor sighed. "I wish I could say, but unfortunately, as I said, at this point we're in a wait-and-see situation." Hesitating for a moment, he looked around the room at the crowd of people gathered for Natalie. "Let's just say, we're not out of the woods yet."


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: **Thank you so much for your patience in waiting for this update! I'm so sorry that it took so long to get up - I had intended to have it posted last week, but Hurricane Sandy had other plans when my quick 3 day trip back east turned into a week stuck there without my computer. I'm home now and settled back in, so now that things have calmed down, it's back to writing!

* * *

John frowned as he slowly poured himself a cup of the watery substance the hospital was apparently trying to pass off as coffee and took a tentative sip. Grimacing, he stared down at the liquid and shook his head, gulping down the rest of the cup before refilling it. Anything to kill another a few minutes of waiting, he supposed.

It had been almost four hours since he and Jessica had arrived at the hospital with Natalie. She'd been moved to the ICU an hour ago, but only Viki had been allowed in to see her, and only for a few minutes. From the look on her face when she'd returned to the waiting room, John knew her condition was still fragile. He'd thought about sneaking in just to see for himself, but he knew Bo had posted a security team outside her room - _just in case_, he'd assured them all - so despite how badly he wanted to see her, there was no way he could sneak in unnoticed.

In any other circumstances, the waiting might have been the part that threatened to drive him crazy. Tonight, though, as difficult as it was, it was the stares that were really grating on his nerves. He knew he needed to be there, but there was only so much sitting around the small waiting room he could handle, especially with Clint shooting a glare in his direction every few minutes. Whatever her father might think, John knew he'd fight to stay with Natalie, to stay where he belonged - at her side. Nevertheless, that didn't make it easy to sit in a room full of her family, some of whom he suspected hadn't cared for him to begin with and the rest of whom he was certain didn't like him now. He thought that perhaps Jessica was, if not on his side, then at least not fully against him, but she'd slipped off somewhere not long after Viki had returned from seeing Natalie.

So instead of sitting there under scrutiny, he'd taken to escaping to the coffee cart at the end of the hallway. It was far enough away that he could no longer feel their stares, but close enough that if the doctor returned with news he'd at least hear the commotion from down the hall. He just hoped something happened soon, because he wasn't sure how much more silent wrath he could take from the Buchanan family before he snapped and said something to Clint he'd later regret.

"Oh for God's sake, Joey, he's not going to bite you!"

John frowned at the scolding tone of Kelly's voice a few feet behind him. The last thing in the world he wanted at that particular moment was a confrontation with Joey Buchanan, but with the voices getting closer, he figured he didn't have much of a choice.

"You think I'm afraid of him?"

"Hey, if the shoe fits…"

Taking a breath, John turned around to face Natalie's brother and his ex, nearly dropping his cup of coffee at the sight in front of him.

"Dada!" Liam exclaimed, squirming in Joey's arms and stretching out his chubby toddler arms toward his father.

John glanced tentatively at Joey, who nodded and held the baby out to him.

"Hey there, little man," John said softly, pulling Liam close and holding him tightly against his chest as he closed his eyes and sent up a silent prayer of thanks. After a few moments, John kissed Liam's forehead and shot a questioning look at Joey and Kelly.

Kelly shrugged and look over at Joey. "We figured the little guy had had a rough day. When Nora said he wasn't sleeping, we thought he might need some time with his dad to calm down."

"Thank you," John said, nodding gratefully as he adjusted his son in his arms before Liam buried his head in his shoulder. "Thank you."

* * *

"What the hell does he think he's doing?" Clint asked angrily, standing up as he caught sight of John holding Liam at the end of the hall.

"Looks like he's hugging his son," Tina said with a shrug, walking up behind her father-in-law.

"We've got a court order that says he can't do that," Clint said. "Where's Bo? I'm going to have him arrested."

"Let's cut the man some slack, Pa," Cord suggested. "He did save her life tonight. Is a court order more important than that?"

"Maybe he did save her life, but what's he going to do to it once she wakes up? What happens when he goes back to that hussy in Port Charles?"

"You don't know that he's going to do that," Cord said. "And besides, shouldn't it be Natalie's decision who sees her son?"

"Your sister's not thinking straight these days," Clint pointed out, his patience with his oldest son wearing thin. "He did that to her, too. That's why we got the restraining order, to protect her while she got a handle on her emotions. She needs time to think rationally about all of this, and he needs to stay the hell away from her and away from Liam."

Clint frowned at the sound of Tina's derisive snort from her spot beside Cord.

"Did you have something to add?"

Tina squared her shoulders as she stepped forward. "Yes, actually, I do. You, Clint Buchanan, are quite possibly the biggest hypocrite I've ever met."

"Tina…" Cord said cautiously.

"No, sweetheart, I'm sorry, but someone has to say it. If no one else in this family is going to do it, I will. Besides, he already doesn't like me, so it might as well be me."

"Tina, this has nothing to do with you," Clint said.

"Natalie is my family too," Tina pointed out defensively. "And if there's any two people in this family who ought to understand about forgiveness and second chances, it's you and I, Clint."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Why is it okay for Viki to forgive you for however many dozens of horrible things you've done, but it's not okay for Natalie to even talk to John, let alone forgive him?" Tina asked.

"That's different," Clint snapped. "I didn't cheat on Viki."

"Really?" Tina asked skeptically, tilting her head and pursing her lips slightly. "That's remarkable. So Rex Balsom just popped up out of thin air? Someone really ought to tell my brother Todd. I'm sure that would make a great story for _The Sun_."

"Tina, that was a long time ago," Clint said.

"I wasn't aware there was a time limit," Tina retorted.

"Tina…" Cord began again.

"No, honey, I'm curious. What is the time period for cheating to no longer be cheating, Clint?" Tina asked. "Five years? Ten years?"

"Tina, what happened with Echo was entirely different than what that man did to my daughter."

"I agree," Tina said.

"You do?" Clint asked in surprise.

Tina nodded. "You slept with another woman and had a child with her. As far as we know, all that John did is kiss this other woman. For you to ask Viki to forgive you for that all those years ago and then to now not allow Natalie to even consider forgiving John? Like I said, hypocritical."

Clint scoffed. "Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black, Tina?"

"I never said I hadn't done terrible things too, Clint," Tina said. "But I'm not the one acting self-righteous and refusing to allow someone else to receive the same forgiveness I did."

"Tina, I think that's enough," Cord said gently, putting his arm around her waist and turning her away from his father.

"But I haven't even gotten to the part where he forgave Viki for cheating on him!"

"Come on," he said, leading her to the other side of the room. "Let's let Pa think about things, alright?"

Clint sighed and leaned back against the wall, shaking his head as he watched them walk away.

"She's not wrong, you know."

Clint frowned and turned his head to find Viki standing beside him, two cups of coffee in her hands.

"You heard all of that?"

"Most of it," Viki said, handing him a cup. "Tina can be a bit aggressive, but she means well. And even you have to admit that she does have a point."

"You're taking her side?" Clint asked skeptically.

Viki smiled and shook her head. "This isn't about sides, Clint. This is about John and Natalie, and letting our daughter live her own life."

"You just want her to forget what he did?"

"No, of course not," Viki said. "John hurt her, and I'm very upset with him for that. But a blind man could see that he still loves her, and if she wants to forgive him, we have to respect that decision. And no matter what, keeping a child away from his father is just plain wrong."

"I'm only trying to do what's best for Natalie," Clint said. "We have to protect her."

Viki shook her head again and rested a hand on Clint's forearm. "Darling, she's a grown woman. And she might always be our little girl to us, but we have to let her live her own life. Can you really justify keeping Liam away from a father who loves him? Especially after all you've been through over the years?"

"Me? What do I have to do with that?"

"Your father kept you away from Cord for decades," Viki pointed out. "And Allison Perkins kept us away from Natalie for years and years. After all of that, do you really want to be the man who keeps our grandson away from his father?"

Clint sighed and shook his head. "I guess not. I just…Viki, I just don't want to see Natalie get hurt again."

"I know, darling," Viki said, resting her head against his shoulder. "I know."


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: **And here we are...the final chapter of this story! I have an epilogue that I'm working on, but this is the last "real-time" chapter for this one. Hard to believe we finally got here! The epilogue chapter should be up in a few days, and I already have another story that I'm planning to start posting around that same time, so keep your eyes out for that as well!

* * *

"So…you wanna see her, Johnny?"

John looked up in confusion as Roxy slipped into the chair next to his. Glancing around, he saw the room was mostly deserted now, save for Kevin sleeping in a chair across the room and Rex hovering by the window.

"The doctor said immediate family only," John pointed out, recalling the relief he'd felt a few hours earlier when the doctor had announced that Natalie's condition had stabilized enough to allow visitors, and the bitter disappointment that had followed when he'd been informed that only immediate family could see her.

"Yeah, what a load of you-know-what," Roxy agreed, taking a sip of what John suspected from its smell wasn't just coffee. "I say, you and me, we're as immediate as anyone of them."

John shook his head. "Yeah, well, we're not, Roxy. We just have to deal with that."

Roxy scoffed. "Where's your spunk these days, Johnny boy? Everyone else has seen her and gone home to sleep. Now's your chance!"

"There's a guard at her door, Roxy."

"I'll take care of that," Roxy said, pulling her shoulders back and sticking out her chest. "I've been told I'm rather distracting."

John frowned as he looked at Roxy, who seemed unnecessarily proud of her statement. "What exactly are you suggesting, Roxy?"

"Nothing illegal, I promise," Roxy assured him. "So, do you want to see Natty or not?"

* * *

As John stepped into the room, he caught sight of the clock on the wall and frowned. Nine thirty in the morning. It hadn't even been twenty-four hours since he had returned to Llanview, but it felt like it could have been a thousand years. Yesterday, he'd arrived in Llanview full of mixed emotions, excited to be back near his family, but apprehensive at the reaction his return would generate. As he took a seat next to Natalie's bed and reached for her hand, he felt only one emotion - fear.

He'd spoken to his brother a few hours ago and been warned that Natalie's recovery would be slow, but even that in his mind, he was taken aback. Nothing Michael had said could have prepared him for the ghostly white color of Natalie's skin, the wires and monitors and tubes going every direction, the blood slowly dripping through an IV into her body.

"I saw Liam," he said quietly, pulling his chair closer to the bed. "I think he got bigger since I last saw him." John sighed and ran his thumb over the back of her hand. "He needs you, Natalie. Our boy needs you to come back to him, okay? And, uh…I need you too, Natalie."

John squeezed her hand gently and reached up to gently brush a strand of hair behind off her forehead.

"I know I let you down, Natalie," he admitted. "Last Christmas, when we got back together, you said that you needed to know that I would fight for you. And I didn't do that, Natalie, I know I didn't. I let you down, and I will spend the rest of my life making that up to you, I promise you that. But you've got to wake up first, Natalie. Then you can yell and scream and call me names and throw things…hell, you can even hit me if you want. You just have to open your eyes."

John sighed again and lifted her hand to kiss it softly. "I love you, Natalie," he whispered, reaching one hand back up to stroke her cheek before putting his head down on the bed next to her.

* * *

Natalie winced as she cracked open one eye, almost immediately closing it again as she was met by the harsh florescent lights of a hospital room. Slowly, she forced both eyes open and tried to look around. When she didn't see any deceased family members, she let out a breath of relief that she wasn't dead. As she turned her head to the side, she moaned softly at the pain in her neck. Feeling a slight pressure on her hand, she cast her eyes down and smiled when she saw John asleep at her side.

With a great deal of effort, she moved her arm to the side, just far enough that his head slipped onto the mattress and he startled awake. Sitting up quickly, John looked around in a panic until his eyes landed on Natalie's.

"Hey you," he said, a relieved smile appearing on his face as he reached up to touch her cheek. "Welcome back."

"You're…here…" Natalie whispered, surprise in her voice. She had to struggle for the energy to get each word out, and her voice was raspy and hoarse from the intubation tube John knew had been helping her breath until just a few hours ago, but in that moment, he would have sworn he'd never heard anything so beautiful.

"Where else would I be?" John asked.

Natalie almost laughed, but instead she just winced, not having the energy for anything more. "Don't…don't pretend…"

John sighed and nodded. "I know I haven't been around, Natalie. If I could have the last six months back to do over, I'd be back here in Llanview with you and Liam the whole time. And what you saw in that picture…I know it hurt you. I should have come back the minute it happened. I should have fought for you like I promised I would. But that's a mistake I intend to fix, just so you know."

"What about…_her_?"

John shook his head. "It was one kiss, Natalie, and it didn't mean anything. And the other night, when you called, she only had my phone because I left it when I was meeting with her mother - my lawyer. I didn't even see her that day."

"Are you…going back?" Natalie asked.

"No," John assured her. "I was already coming back to Llanview before I found out you were missing, and when I found out you were in trouble…well, that only made me more sure of where I belong. And that's right here, with you. I'm done chasing the past, Natalie. I know I've said it before, but I swear it - I can't promise that my past won't rear it's head from time to time, but I can tell you that even if it does, I'm done chasing it. From now on, the _only_ thing I'm chasing is my future with you and with our son."

Natalie closed her eyes as she felt the tears welling up. "I still love you," she whispered.

"And I love you too," John said, leaning forward to kiss her softly. "That's a real good place to start."


	16. Epilogue

_Christmas Eve..._

Natalie's hands shook as she stood in front of the mirror in her old bedroom at Llanfair and looked at the reflection staring back at her. She'd spent the morning at Foxy Roxy's, completely at the mercy of Roxy and Tina, so she considered it a minor miracle that her makeup was understated and her hair was tied back in a simple chignon with just a few curled strands hanging loose to frame her face. She'd never been a dresses-and-frills girl, so as she took a long look in the mirror, she almost didn't recognize her last look at Natalie Buchanan Banks.

"Knock, knock."

Natalie turned at the sound of the voice in the doorway.

"Wow," Rex said with a grin. "Natty, you look…wow."

"Thanks." Natalie hesitated and glanced down at her ivory cocktail dress. "You don't think it's too much? Or maybe not bridal enough?"

"I think it's perfect," Rex assured her, stepping into the room. "Of course, if you've changed your mind…"

"Rex, we talked about this," Natalie interrupted, a warning tone in her voice.

Rex threw up his hands defensively. "I'm just saying, if you want out, I've got a car out back," he said. "No one would blame you. It's only been a few months since the whole serial killer thing and…"

Natalie sighed and glared at her brother. The last thing she wanted to be reminded of today was that horrible day when she thought she'd lost everything. It had taken weeks for her to even be able to close her eyes at night without the image of that man's face haunting her. It hadn't been until the FBI had picked him up at a hospital in Connecticut that she'd been able to get a full night's sleep. And although she took some satisfaction in knowing that it had been an infection from the bite wound she'd given him that had finally caused him to slip up and get caught, there were still days that she struggled. She couldn't imagine what the past few months would have been like if John hadn't been with her every step of the way, even on her worst days.

"Rex," she said, forcing her voice to remain calm. "That's enough. I want this, so if you want to be a part of today, you're going to have to stop trying to talk me out of this and start being supportive."

"I am supportive, Natty," Rex said. "I'm not saying this isn't right…I'm saying, is it the right time? There's no harm in waiting a few more months."

"I thought about that," Natalie admitted. "When Mom first suggested this, John and I both thought long and hard about it before we agreed. But honestly, Rex, this is so long overdue…if my life has taught me one thing, it's that there's no point in wasting time. Isn't that the same thing you told me last year?"

"That was different," Rex protested. "Gigi had just come back from the dead."

"And I didn't?"

Rex frowned. "Alright, you have a point. And you're happy?"

"Yeah," Natalie nodded. "I'm happy."

Rex threw up his hands and grinned. "Well then, what the hell are we waiting for? Let's do this!"

Natalie laughed as she grabbed the bouquet off the bed. "I'm glad you're here, Rex."

"Hey, where else would I be on my favorite sister's wedding day?" Rex asked. "I'm just surprised Clint's letting me do this this time around."

"Well, he can't very well do it himself," Natalie pointed out as she looped her arm through his and he led her out of the room. "After all, he's not just the father of the bride today - he's a groom, too."

* * *

John frowned as he stood in front of the mirror and reached up to untie his crooked tie yet again.

"You always were useless with a tie."

John shook his head as he dropped the ends of the tie and turned around to face his mother and his little brother. "I am perfectly capable of tying my own tie," he insisted. "There's something defective about this one."

Eve shook her head and stepped forward, picking up the ends of the tie and getting to work. "There's nothing wrong with the tie, John. Now, those shaky hands of yours…"

"You nervous about something, Johnny?" Michael asked, stifling a laugh at the look his brother shot him. "Come on, you've done this before. You should be old hat at playing the groom by now."

"Michael…" Eve warned.

"Sorry. I'm just saying, it's nice to finally be invited to one of my big brother's weddings," Michael said. "Marcie and I were starting to think you didn't like us. And poor Gabe, the boy was starting to get a complex about the whole thing. And Jen…"

"If you try to tell me that your ten month old daughter has a problem with not being invited to weddings she wasn't even alive for, I'm going to smack you, best man or not," John said.

"Hold still," Eve instructed, pulling on the tie to get John to turn his head away from Michael. "And Michael, stop antagonizing your brother. I'm sure you remember what it was like when you married Marcie, so cut him some slack. Honestly, it's like the two of you were still little boys on the playground."

"Sorry," John and Michael both muttered.

"Uh huh," Eve said skeptically, tugging on John's tie was last time and straightening the knot. "There. Now, I'm going to head out and grab my seat. Can I trust that the two of you won't kill each other before the ceremony?"

Both McBain men nodded, so Eve smiled and kissed them both on the cheek, lingering just a moment as she wrapped her arms around John. "I'm so happy for you," she whispered, pulling back quickly and hurrying out of the room.

"You've got the rings, right?" John asked, turning back to his brother.

Michael nodded and patted his front pocket. "Same place they were when you asked me ten minutes ago," he said. "And ten minutes before that, and ten…"

"Alright, alright, I get it," John interrupted.

"You know I'm just teasing, right?" Michael asked. "I'm not really upset that we couldn't come to your last wedding attempts. I'm just glad you two kids are giving it another go. Third time's the charm, right?"

John nodded. "I'm not letting her go this time, Mikey."

"Good. Because if you screw this up again, I might have to kill you, John. You are far too unpleasant without Natalie." Michael paused and glanced down at his watch. "Now come on, let's get out there and get you married."

* * *

Growing up in a rough Atlantic City neighborhood, under the less-than-watchful eye of a drunk gambling addict, Natalie would have been afraid to admit to anyone that when Roxy was out at the casinos, when she was home alone or stuck in the corner of a pool hall somewhere, she sometimes dreamed of her wedding day. It had seemed an impossible dream at the time, of course, but as she'd once told Cristian, she had dreamed of having the whole nine yards - a traditional church wedding with all the bells, whistles and frills a girl could dream up.

That afternoon, she wasn't anywhere near a beautiful old church, and it was her brother, not her father, who walked her into the library at Llanfair. Her mother walked in front of her in a wedding dress of her own, escorted by Kevin and Joey, and her fiancé waited beside her father in front of a Christmas tree, not an elaborately decorated altar. Instead of a half dozen bridesmaids in some shade of turquoise that only a bride could love, she had Jessica and her mother had Tina, both in simple dresses of their own choosing. Her dreamed-of hundreds of guests had been whittled down to less than thirty of their closest family and friends.

There was no priest to welcome the "dearly beloved," no long homily celebrating love and commitment and partnership. The justice of the peace was nothing if not efficient, direct and to the point. The only traditional element that was saved were the vows. There would be no heartfelt, self-written vows for her silent, brooding fiancé.

At least, that had been the plan. Her parents had gone through their vows, she'd dutifully repeated "in sickness and in health," and stood waiting for John to do the same, when suddenly he was telling the justice of the peace that he had his own vows to recite.

"Okay, stop looking at me like I've got two heads," John said, smiling when Natalie laughed nervously. "I know I don't say much, but I've got to be a little bit more specific than that 'for better and for worse' stuff, so just bear with me here. I promise all of that stuff, but there are a few other things I need to promise you with all our family and friends here as witnesses. Natalie, I can't promise you that I'm always going to say the right thing or do the right thing or be in all the right places at all the right times. In fact, I can promise that I'm going to screw up and we're going to get in fights and we won't always have a perfect relationship. But I can also promise that no matter how much you yell or how much I refuse to say anything…I promise to fight for you, for our family. And I vow that no matter how far apart we might be, no matter what might have happened, I will _always_ find my way back to you."

Nothing about that afternoon matched what Natalie had once thought she needed in order to make her dreams come true. Yet somehow, as she looked into John's eyes and heard the justice of the peace introduce "Mr. and Mrs. Clint Buchanan and Mr. and Mrs. John McBain," Natalie couldn't remember a single moment in her life that had ever felt quite so right.

* * *

**A/N:** And there it is! I can't believe we've reached the end. Thank you all so much for all the follows, reviews, favorites and messages for this story! I've already posted the first chapter of my next OLTL story, _Dear John_, so if you haven't already, be sure to check that one out. Thank you all for coming along on this ride with me!


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